Big Fat Positive

I thought about titling this post "Unexpectedly Expecting" but I figured that Big Fat Positive would be a little more obvious. In either case, if you are a woman you more than likely know EXACTLY what it boils down to.

Yup, I'm pregnant. (Holy crap, I'm going to have THREE kids...and 3 years old or under). Oh dear.

Just in case a confirmation was needed, here you go.

Oh, and yes. I did actually take 3 tests to make sure. 4 if you count the other digital, but that one came back negative at the time. Sadly, I'm still in shock and denial. I'm holding back at every attempt to go out and buy more just to make sure there are two lines.

So it goes something like this:

Wednesday- Take a ClearBlue Digital test with SMU. Result? Negative.

Thursday- Routine bloodwork for thyroid & Vitamin D. Quantitative hCG test thrown in for good measure.

Friday- Results back from doctor. Ruled "indeterminable". Asked to retest with a HPT over the weekend and follow up on Tuesday with more bloodwork.

Saturday- Couldn't hold out until Sunday to test because I'm impatient and like concrete answers so I POAS with a Dollar Store test. Result? Big Fat Positive. I even had to post my picture on my online forum and poll 50 women to make sure that I wasn't imagining the 2nd line.

Sunday- POAS again with a digital and another Dollar Store test just to make sure I'm not crazy. Result? Still Big Fat Positive.

Today- Follow up bloodwork to make sure my levels are doubling. Results back tomorrow.

How did this happen? Truth be told... I have no clue. Ok, well I know the birds and bees version. I'm married. Married people do...stuff. And now I'm going to be the one stuffed like a turkey around Thanksgiving. I still believe fully in NFP, and I'm not going to completely put it at fault, but there were a lot of discrepancies with my cycle and even my doctors are baffled. Either I ovulated TWICE in one cycle (it's been known to happen--- pretty sure it's rare though) or I ovulated super, super late. That would explain why the first test came back negative and the bloodwork was inconclusive--- it was just too early to know even though my period was "late". I followed everything just as I was supposed to. We only had sex once and it was almost a week after I "supposedly" ovulated. There's no way in Hades I should have been pregnant if I ovulated when it said I did. I had the elevated temperatures and a marginally positive OPK to confirm it too. And even if I hadn't received a positive OPK on day 12, it would have shifted ovulation to day 23 which would still make pregnancy virtually impossible. So, I think we are all scratching our heads at this point.

How do I feel about all of this? Well, mostly excited. But my mind has run the gamut of emotions since Saturday and I think I've felt about everything apart from anger because I could never be angry about another child. A child is a blessing from God and I refuse to see it as anything but that. I'm grateful that I've been chosen to be a mother...to three kids. Wow! Three. I'm still in shock. However, on the flip side this is a HUGE change for us. We will need a new place because 2 bedrooms isn't enough, we will need a bigger car, and who knows what will happen with daycare and my job. The "plan" was for me to be a SAHM when #3 arrived because daycare is just too expensive, but I carry the health insurance for the family at a fraction of the cost elsewhere so it actually saves us money. The problem with this is that Aaron is still unemployed (granted he does have an interview next week...wish him luck!!) and we don't know what the stability will be like. At this point I have no idea what will happen. At least we have 9 more months to figure it out.

So, essentially we have a lot to think about. Could we have been more careful? Absolutely, but we never thought this would happen. We weren't planning on another child for at least 6 months. With all of this said, because of my Christian faith, I FIRMLY believe that everything happens for a reason, and even if I don't understand it, this was part of God's plan and this child is meant to be here. There is a reason that this child is coming into our family. I'm so blessed that I've been seen fit to become a mother and I pray everyday that I raise my children to be loving children of God and a good influence on the world. Society is going downhill fast and I hope that I can raise them with good morals and kindness.

How am I doing? Great, so far. You know, it's funny... I never really recognized any "symptoms" until after I found out I was pregnant. Sure, I noticed I was eating a little more than usual and that I was tired, but nothing I couldn't chalk up to something else. Now, everything is coming out of the woodwork. I'm tired, hungry and thirsty ALL the time. I mean, the thirst is insane. I'm drinking water like it's going out of style... which then leads to the frequent urination. I'm craving vegetables! WTH? Seriously, I'll eat a whole thing of sauteed asparagus every day if I could. YUM! My back hurts and I can feel the uterine ligaments stretching. And, OMG... I am so gassy! And I'm breaking out! I never had this with either of my boys. The symptoms this time seem so different. Still relatively subtle, but there and different than what I had with the boys. Maybe this means it will be a girl?? Oh, that would be AWESOME!

When am I due? Again, not really sure of an exact date. Because I don't know for sure when I ovulated, it's hard to tell. I'm saying that it's early February 2011 (I'll most likely deliver in late January). Based on my LMP, I'm due February 1st, but based on the conception date, it's February 4th. So, sometime the first week of February. I'll know for sure come June 28th when I have my first prenatal checkup with my midwife complete with the first ultrasound of our "Little Sprout". We will be using the date on the ultrasound as the due date.

So, there you go. That's my big news. I'll update tomorrow with my blood results from the 2nd beta. Oh, and I'll have to ask you one favor: If you read this and you are a friend of mine on Facebook or MySpace, please DO NOT mention anything on my wall or comments. If you want to post anything to me, post it here as my family and friends don't have this blog address. I have not told friends or family on my side and it will be a sensitive subject to some of my family so I don't want to announce it until either after the first ultrasound or until I'm into my 2nd trimester. I'm definitely excited to share it with the world, but not quite yet. And obviously it would be best for them to hear it directly from me.

Thank you!