30 Weeks

How far along?: 30w1d

Total weight gain: 20 pounds

How big is baby?: Just shy of 16 inches and approximately 3 pounds (or about the size of a head of cabbage).

Maternity clothes?: Yes, but I can still wear non-maternity shirts & pants (with the help of a "belly band").

Stretch marks?: Yeah, it looks like some of my old ones are stretching a bit. Not too bad.

Sleep?: Eh, I could be getting more. I'm way too uncomfortable these days and I have to pee a lot.

Best moment this week?: Spending Thanksgiving with family and eating some good food. :)

Movement?: Yup, this week he's been a squirmer. It's not comfortable for me though.

Food cravings?: Not really. Just the soda...same as last week.

Labor signs?: Not yet. Just Braxton Hicks.

Belly button in or out?: Still in.

What I miss: Sleep and not having back pain.

What I'm looking forward to: Seeing Owen again (and for the last time) in 3D/4D tomorrow and then our family vacation to Leavenworth this weekend.

Weekly Wisdom: Using a Pilates ball & getting prenatal massages works wonders for sciatica pain!!

Milestone: I'm officially 75% done with the pregnancy (even more if he comes early like I'm hoping!) Baby's eyesight will continue to develop but will only be about 20/400 at birth which means he won't be able to see things more than a few inches from his face.

It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas...

I couldn't pass up the Black Friday weekend sales (usually I steer clear of shopping due to the crowds) but I was tempted by JoAnn Fabrics' pre-lit Christmas tree sales (they were offering 7 foot trees for $35 that were normally $120) and 70% off ornaments so I at least made a trip for that and came back with a ton of stuff. I'd been wanting to get a new tree for a while since the one we had been given by my grandma was falling apart, old, and a total PITA to put together (not to mention half the ornaments were probably used when my mom was a kid...). Naturally, when I came home Jayden was curious about what I had bought so when I told him about the tree he just couldn't help but want to put it up.

Knowing full well that our holiday season this year (as is the case with every year, but even more so this year) is hectic I knew I wouldn't otherwise be able to get around to decorating until the week before Christmas and I wanted the kids to have more time to enjoy the whole Christmas spirit so I decided to put together our new tree yesterday and have the kids help me decorate. The tree is much thinner than it looked and it's not the greatest but for $35 and the lack of space in our apartment it works. The kids don't seem to mind and once you add the bazillion ornaments we have it fills in the gaps and doesn't look so wimpy.

Seeing as my hubby is not a decorator and I'm 7 months pregnant and just not in the mood to decorate a ton in addition to having an extremely curious toddler, I didn't decorate much. We have our tree, stockings, some lights, & a stuffed decoration thing. I'm debating on putting up our Christmas village, but seeing as our tree has already been attacked by flying basketballs and almost every ornament has been licked or re-arranged courtesy of Jaxson, I'm a little nervous to put out the ceramic village I've had since I was a child celebrating Christmas. I'm not quite ready to test the waters with his level of curiosity just yet. Hopefully the tree is still standing with the ornaments intact by the time I get home. :)

Both boys wanted to get a picture in front of the tree. Jaxson cracks me up because when we take pictures we tell the boys, "Say cheese!" and Jaxson lifts his chin, smiles a toothy smile, and squints his eyes (we call it his "Cheese Face"... hilarious every time!)

Looks like we will need new stockings next year as Owen will be here and we now only have our one cat, Kimahri. :)

Thanksgiving 2010

With the snowfall we had we were skeptical at first that we would even make it out of our parking lot for Thanksgiving, but despite the crappy conditions at our apartment, the roads were just fine and we were able to drive to Gig Harbor like we had planned to spend Thanksgiving with Aaron's family. It was pretty low key for the most part with the tiny exception of Jaxson's fever & moodiness due to teething (yes, he's already getting one of his 2 year molars and he won't be 2 until April!!). Because of that, he was pretty much attached to me in tears the whole time screaming, "Mama! Mama!".

I didn't get a chance to actually take pictures of the festivities and the meal (which was delicious, by the way) but I did get some candids of the boys just playing while we were there. Us adults got to play some board games while our boys were entertained by Aaron's cousin's boys & little girl. I even did some Black Friday shopping for the first time since the boys needed some winter gear for our Leavenworth trip.

Enjoy! Hope you had/have as much to be thankful for as we do!!

Snow Day

Despite my aversion to snow (or at least being out in it for long periods of time or driving in it), I was not about to deprive my kids of a "snow day". I was interested to see how they would like it since Jaxson's never seen snow to my knowledge and the last time we took Jayden out in it he cried and wanted to go back inside because he didn't like the cold & wet.

This year, Jayden had a blast and was SO EXCITED about the snow. The kid was even eating it off the car. No joke. Jaxson seemed to like it too, so we let them romp around in it last Monday night when we were completely dumped on. They geared up with jackets, boots, hats, and gloves and ran around in it for what seemed like an eternity to me. We had to bribe them to come back inside with the promise of hot chocolate with lots of marshmallows... and even at that Jaxson was not happy with me bringing him back inside.

This just gives us a taste of what we will be experiencing this weekend when we take our Leavenworth vacation with my dad & family for my stepmom's 50th birthday celebration. Jayden is already counting down the days until he can play in the snow again. :)

29 Weeks

How far along?: 29w2d
Total weight gain: Still around 18-19 pounds.
How big is baby?: Baby is about 2.5 pounds and 15 inches long... about the size of a butternut squash.
Maternity clothes?: Yeah, but they are mostly maternity clothes that could double as regular clothes. Long t-shirts, casual pants, etc.
Stretch marks?: Still about the same. I can't really tell if my old ones are stretching or not. My belly itches sometimes though.
Sleep?: Pretty good other than the fact that Jaxson thinks that 6:00am is an appropriate wake-up time.
Best moment this week?: Best moment(s) are also the worst... Watching the kids play in the snow despite my aversion to snow and being able to work from home in my pajamas this week despite the chaos of working from home with 2 young kids running around trying to play with my laptop. Oh, and another good moment this week was finding out that I passed my GD test...yay!
Movement?: Still about the same. He's still moving, but it's slowed down as he runs out of room. Instead of feeling gentle movements, I'm getting harsh elbows, fists, and knees now.
Food cravings?: Oddly enough I'm craving Wild Cherry Pepsi lately. I usually don't drink soda, especially caffeinated soda, but I just cannot help myself lately.
Labor signs?: No, just the usual (but very strong) Braxton Hicks.
Belly button in or out?: Still in.
What I miss: Eating a normal meal that isn't followed by gobbling Tums. I swear that EVERYTHING gives me heartburn and it's awful. :(
What I'm looking forward to: Tomorrow is Thanksgiving!! I'm really looking forward to spending quality time with family and eating some delicious food. :)
Weekly Wisdom: Think safety first in this weather. It's not easy being pregnant in the middle of winter. Make sure that you wear warm clothes, shoes with good tread for grip & stability, watch where you walk, & don't drive in conditions you are uncomfortable with or may compromise your safety.
Milestone: Muscles and lungs are continuing to mature as the head grows bigger to allow more room for baby's growing brain. Baby's bones are soaking up a lot of calcium this trimester as well.

Chionophobia

What is chionophobia, might you ask? Chionophobia is the fear of snow.

...and I have it. Or to be more precise, I have the fear of driving in it. I don't actually fear the idea of snow; in fact, I love walking in it, playing in it (which we took the boys to do for the "first" time and they loved it--- pics to follow in separate post), and even admiring watching it fall from the comfort and warmth of my couch with a large cup of hot cocoa in hand.

I can remember many a time where, as a kid, I prayed and prayed for the typical "White Christmas", but rarely ever got them. Seattle gets rainy Christmases. However, now that I am an adult and I have responsibilities like working mostly outside of the home and toting kids to daycare, buying groceries, etc I've realized that I'm quite alright without a White Christmas... or a white anything. Even the thought of driving out in the mess we are now experiencing outside sends shivers down my spine...and not from the cold. It's pure fear. I hate it. Hate it. It's days like this, beautiful to look at while treacherous to navigate through, that make me want to move somewhere that is warm all the time...like Arizona.

Maybe it's because we are ill-equipped to deal with even 2 inches of snow (yes, please laugh at us if you are on the East Coast or wherever else you get tons of snow) or because the last time I drove in it, I slid off the road, jumped a ditch, and hit a sign while 6 months pregnant & with my newly turned one year old in the backseat... but I fear for my safety and that of my children (both born and unborn) and I refuse to drive in it. Plus, it doesn't help that the weather here is so odd with wavering temperatures that we get lots and lots of ice... and in a place with lots of hills, that's just a bad combination.

So, until the snow dissipates, I am officially a hermit. I have clearance to work from home until conditions improve and people actually get around to sanding the roads & parking lots. I'll be sitting on my couch with a blanket & in my PJ's while admiring the beauty of the snow without actually being out in it. And maybe we will venture out to let the kids make snow angels, go sledding, or eat the snow as Jayden has discovered is really fun. And inside, I'm secretly hoping it melts by Thursday so that I don't miss Turkey Day because this preggo really wants some turkey, mashed potatoes w/gravy, and lots of pumpkin pie. :)

A Daughter

Call this a stream of consciousness if you will... I've had a lot on my mind lately, a recurring thought, an internal conflicting sense of deja vu.

First let me preface this whole disjointed thought by saying that I am proud to be a mother of all boys, I am extremely grateful for my boys---and for many other things including the fact that I am physically able to bear children, have had relatively healthy pregnancies, & easy deliveries, etc. I wouldn't trade my boys for anything in this world and I have faith that God understand my purpose and direction in life better than I do. I trust in His judgment, but I still feel like there's something missing from my life: a daughter. While this may just sound silly, selfish, and stupid to some it is a valid feeling regardless that I have a desire to express. I don't care if anyone reads this or not. Honestly, I think it's theraputic for me just to get it all out somewhere versus internally dwelling on it.

I've always wanted to have a larger family, even since I was a little girl. I love children and I always imagined myself with quite the brood of my own. I'm not talking along the lines of the Duggars and having 20 kids, but 4,5, or 6 was totally fine with me. In addition to that, I always envisioned myself with a daughter. Maybe it's because I have such a close relationship with my mom mixed with the girly-girl side of me, but I always wanted to experience those moments in life my mom experienced with me with my own daughter. When I met Aaron, we both had a "deal breaker" for the two of us; he couldn't be with someone who wouldn't allow him to play video games & computer games... and I couldn't be with someone who didn't want and/or support having a larger family. I wanted 4 kids at least, more was negotiable, but 4 was my minimum. We both agreed to each other's deal breakers, but here we are now 7 years and 3 kids later and while I still have the desire to have one more child, my husband does not... or at least he isn't sure he wants any more. To be honest, this has been a constant sore spot in our relationship, which isn't completely on the best of terms right now because of our disagreements, and I'm sure it will continue to be.

On 2 main levels, I feel let down. I feel like I was lied to or betrayed on one end because I feel like if you make a promise and agree to something, you should keep your word... not sugar coat or tell me something you think you are okay with or that you want me to hear to keep me complacent. Be honest and stick to your guns. My family is one thing I am terribly passionate about and it's hard to let go of what I always wanted as far as family size. In addition, I had not mentally prepared myself for this to be my last pregnancy, and at 25 years old, I feel somewhat sad at realizing that my childbearing years are already almost at an end when most of my friends haven't even started. I'm still so young, and frankly just not ready to be done. We also unintentionally had our kids so close in age that I feel like I haven't really been able to enjoy pregnancy to the fullest because I feel like I've practically been pregnant for the last 3 years. And we never really tried to get pregnant. While that would be a huge blessing for some, and I'm grateful we can conceive without difficulty, there's also just something about trying and anticipating that positive test instead of being completely blindsided about it. I feel like I sort of missed that experience.

On the other side, with this being our third (and most likely last) child, and third boy... I'm also sort of mourning the loss of the daughter I most likely will never have. That little girl I dreamed of since I was little is no more than a figment of my imagination. I'll never buy frilly dresses or cute hair bows, nor will I be there to help her pick out her wedding dress, or be the person she can talk to about her first boyfriend or about when she starts blossoming into a woman. I won't be there to hold her hand and tell her how wonderful of a job she's doing as she welcomes her first (or 2nd or 3rd) child into the world, or tell her she is absolutely radiant as a pregnant woman. Raising a son (or three) is a whole different ballgame... one I will get to experience in spades. And while I am grateful for all the things I will or may experience with my boys, there are still fundamental differences. Yes, I will get many a mother-son dance at their weddings (and will hopefully have some wonderful daughters-in-law to take under my wing as my own), and I will proudly be cheering from the sidelines when my sons score their first touchdown or hit their first home run... and as proud as I am and as much as I love my boys, there's still that imaginary daughter that ceases to exist.

I am trying my hardest to allow myself to feel the way I feel, praying and hoping that with time it will dissipate, while at the same time reminding myself how blessed I am to be a mother of boys and just how much joy they truly do bring me. Thinking of all of the things that are still to come in their lives that I get to experience along with them brings a smile to my face. I love them all so much individually and as a collective that I feel like my heart could just burst. I would never love a daughter more than my sons, despite my deep desire to have one, as I love all my children equally and could never love one over the other. My children are my world. I just am trying to find that delicate balance between allowing myself to feel the loss of my "dream" while savoring every moment of the reality that I have been grateful to live. A part of me feels silly, selfish, and just plain awful about feeling "incomplete" because I know that my children do complete me no matter what. I don't want to ever feel or have them feel inadequate because it couldn't be farther from the truth. At the same time, I know I am not the first or last person to feel this way and I need to go through the motions and emotions of this in order to overcome it once and for all. But why is it that a common and natural emotion feels so unnatural to feel? Why do I feel ashamed yet justified at the same time? Someday I will look back on this all and realize how silly I was, but for now it's real and in the moment.

And who knows? Maybe there is another child in our future, but that is up to my husband and God if that is something in the cards for us. And while there's no guarantee that any future child would be the daughter I dreamed of so long ago, it does give me a small sliver of hope. But for now, I am the mother of 3 beautiful and wonderful little boys and with each passing day I will continue to remind myself just how great life is with sons and how grateful I am that I was blessed to be here in their journey from little boys to young men and beyond. I am glad that I can be called their mother and guide them through life, no matter how they may need me. I embrace the role I have to play in their lives and I do not want to miss out on any single moment, and despite my current state of mind, I certainly don't want this feeling to take any more time or focus off of the three most wonderful and amazing sons I could have been blessed with. They deserve all of me... and all of me they shall have.

28 Weeks

How far along?: 28w2d

Total weight gain: About 18-19 pounds

How big is baby?: About the size of a Chinese cabbage (2.25 pounds & 14.8 inches long from head to heel).

Maternity clothes?: Yes, for the most part.

Stretch marks?: Still about the same. The old ones might be starting to stretch but I cannot tell. No new ones though.

Movement?: Yes, but less movement than before. He's running out of room! Now it's starting to hurt because I'm feeling hard body parts pushing, not gentle kicks.

Food cravings?: None really. Still like my tuna & gouda sandwiches. Breakfast burritos for breakfast are yummy too.

Labor signs?: Nope. Just normal, albeit strong Braxton Hicks.

Belly button in or out?: Still in but flattening.

What I miss: Non-swollen feet, not having cankles by the end of the day, & being able to sneeze without peeing my pants (yes, I actually did that the other day... ugh!)

What I'm looking forward to: Hopefully getting another 3D/4D ultrasound to see Owen again. I'm really just anxious to meet him in person though!

Weekly Wisdom: I'd probably have some for you if I didn't feel like Owen was eating all my brain cells for breakfast (and lunch and dinner...he better be one smart kid!).

Milestone: I officially start going to my midwife for appointments every 2 weeks starting today (I have to do my glucose tolerance test today...gag!). Developmentally, Owen should be able to blink his eyes (which now have lashes). Because of eye development, lights from the outside world may be visible in the womb. He's also continuing to pack on body fat to prepare for birth.

27 Weeks

How far along?: 27w2d

Total weight gain: 18 pounds. :(

How big is baby?: Weighs about 2 pounds (the size of a head of cauliflower) and is approximately 14.5 inches long fully extended head to toe.

Maternity clothes?: Yup! And lots of pajama pants & t-shirts around the house. :)

Stretch marks?: Old ones will probably start stretching soon, but no new ones.

Sleep?: Eh, okay. Jaxson has been having night terrors lately so he wakes me up a couple times per night.

Best moment this week?: Not sure about the best, but the worst was falling down half a flight of stairs on Monday and spraining my ankle. :( Owen's okay though... no worries!

Movement?: Still a fair amount but I'm guessing that he's running out of room. He has no problems with punching my cervix though. :(

Food cravings?: Nothing really stands out. I just eat whatever is put in front of me.

Labor signs?: Nope. Still just the normal Braxton Hicks. They are strong with this pregnancy though.

Belly button in or out?: Still in, but flattening.

What I miss: Feeling comfortable. I'm at that awkward, uncomfortable, restless stage now. Ugh... Oh, and a normal center of gravity (hence my fall this week).

What I'm looking forward to: Taking this damn boot off my ankle so I can walk normal again.

Weekly Wisdom: Make your hubby/SO help you. Pregnant women taking trash to the dumpster downstairs = falling down stairs and spraining ankles. Not fun.

Milestone: I'm officially in my THIRD TRIMESTER!! Woo hoo! Just shy of 12 weeks to my due date! I also started my daily regimen on Red Raspberry Leaf tea... yum yum! As for Owen's development, he can sleep & wake at regular intervals, open & close his eyes, and even suck on his fingers. His lungs are developing rapidly---enough so that he could possibly function outside the womb (stay in there, Owen!), and hiccups will become extremely noticeable at this stage (um, yup... I'd agree with that one!).

Semi-Wordless Wednesday

Say cheese!!

Owen's Sneak Preview!!

Yesterday, I received a call from a local place who sells ultrasound machines and they need "models" to help them create the best settings for their machines before selling them. It's not sketchy at all and the machines are completely safe & FDA approved, but they need people willing to have scans done in order to test their software. The scans are done by a trained sonographer and there's no risk--- it's the same as going to your OB's office and being scanned there. They pay you $80 to volunteer for these scans and I had signed up a few weeks ago but didn't think I'd get a call.

Needless to say, they called me and asked if I would be willing to come in this morning and have an ultrasound done so I said yes. I was there for an hour and they got some great shots of Owen. He's head down with his face pointing to my right side, just as he has been since 20 weeks but he turned his face so she could get some cute pictures--- the only drawback is that when they were scanned to the CD, they were saved as video images & not pictures. So, I have a total of 4 videos each about 5 seconds in length of our 3rd boy. I have to say that it seems that he looks a lot like Jaxson... but only time will tell. It will be interesting to see how much he resembles Jaxson when he's born.

If I can convert those videos to pictures I will post them, but for right now it looks like they aren't wanting to transfer at all, so at least I will show you the videos. Oh, and Owen was such a good sport that they may call me back in a few weeks before Owen gets too big to scan. The sonographer was very pleased at how cooperative he was and said she'd love to scan him anytime. :) What a fun way to make $80 and see your baby!! Can't beat that!

Here are the videos:

If for some reason the images are small and/or don't work, you can also view them here, here, here, and here.

26 Weeks

How far along?: 26w3d

Total weight gain: 16-17 pounds

How big is baby?: About the size of an eggplant or an English hothouse cucumber (or approximately 1.66 pounds & 14 inches long).

Maternity clothes: Yes, definitely maternity pants for sure. I'm HUGE!

Stretch marks?: Some of my old ones are getting pink, but they don't seem to be stretching yet.

Sleep?: Eh, I've been restless lately. I can't seem to get comfortable from the belly down... and I'm always really hot so it makes sleep challenging.

Best moment this week?: Tomorrow I get to see Owen in 3D/4D... and get paid $80 to do it! Yes!

Movement?: Yup, a lot. And lots of hiccups.

Food cravings?: None that I can think of.

Labor signs?: Not really, but I did have some pretty strong Braxton Hicks over the weekend... every 4-5 minutes for 3 hours. They finally went away though. Midwife says it's normal.

Belly button in or out?: Still in for now.

What I miss: My stamina. I feel like a fat cow these days.

What I'm looking forward to: Tomorrow's ultrasound! Can't wait to see who Owen looks like!

Weekly Wisdom: Call your doctor if you ever suspect something is wrong or you are unsure of something. There is no such thing as a stupid question especially when you are pregnant. It's better to be safe than sorry!!

Milestone: I'm officially in the double digits for my countdown... only 95 days until my due date!! Also, baby's ears are more developed and sensitive-- they can recognize voices now. He is also starting to inhale small amounts of amniotic fluid, referred to as "practice breathing movements".

Halloween 2010

Last night ended up being really fun... it sure brought back flashbacks for Aaron and I when we were kids. After watching the Seahawks lose to the Raiders terribly, we woke the kids up from their nap to get them ready for the night's festivities. We were originally going to take them to the mall for trick-or-treating but everything for kids 12 and under is terribly early and Aaron and I both agreed that part of "Halloween" is that you do things later at night. Good thing we didn't go because Tommy & Samantha did and said the mall was pure mayhem and the kids really didn't get any treats.

So, we decided to start off the night at a "Fall Festival" that a local church was hosting for the community. Tommy and Samantha joined us with Brayden and Alexis. It was pretty crazy there as well and not really all that fun for anyone so after letting the boys bounce in the bouncy house for about 10 minutes and then shoot some basketballs for candy, we left. By then, it was starting to get semi-dark so we decided to start trick-or-treating at a nearby neighborhood.

It was really cute seeing the kids dressed up and get excited. This was the first year for both boys actually going door-to-door and it took them a while to get the hang of it---especially Jax. He wanted to run in the street or be carried by me most of the time. But, he knows candy really well and so he was more than happy to grab some at any chance. At the first house we went to, Jayden first tried to just open their door and then once the lady opened the door, Jayden walked right in her house. Apparently, us coaching him through what he was supposed to do didn't work. After that embarrassing, yet funny start to the night he finally realized that he was supposed to stay outside and say "Trick or Treat!" and then say "Thank you!" after he got candy. Jaxson wanted to eat his candy as we were going along... so I think he had half-eaten candy in one hand while grabbing more candy with the other the whole time. Rinse and repeat that whole ritual... after about an hour we were all tired, cold, and ready to go home. Needless to say that even in that one hour, both boys made out like bandits (half the houses were giving out full size candy bars it seemed) and we now have a plethora of sugary goodness at our house that we plan to ration out. I'm pretty sure it will last us until next Halloween at this rate. :)

Oh, and in case I didn't mention, Jayden was dressed up as Buzz Lightyear (he's in love with his costume and has worn it every day for almost the last week!) and Jaxson was Woody. Brayden also dressed up as Buzz Lightyear and Alexis was a ladybug. :)

Here are the pictures from our fun night as well as the pictures from the pumpkin painting on Saturday (although I think the kids painted themselves and ate more than what got on the pumpkins---thank goodness for Crayola's non-toxic paint!!).

Picking out our pumpkins at the store...

(he wanted to try on his costume early...)