Nope. Not MY family...

Not Me! Monday is a weekly blog carnival started by MckMama that I occasionally take part in where you can share your embarrassing stories, many of which you probably would never like to admit to. I find it refreshing to know that everyone is human and I'm definitely not alone in the everyday craziness of life. Honesty is the best policy...and why not have some fun with it? So here are some things that I (and my family) most definitely do not do...

1. Echoing MckMama's theme for this week (which was a great one!) reminded me of one of the things I definitely do not do. That would be leaving huge piles of clean clothes in my already cramped bedroom. There's no way that I can only manage to get the laundry cleaned and dried but never (or rarely) fold it and put it away. And I'd never ask my mother in law to help me do it... nope, never.

2. Also, I most definitely did not go off my diet at all this weekend when we were invited to a pre-Thanksgiving fete. Knowing full well that I want to lose another 25 pounds, there's no way that I gave in to my cravings and had not one, but two pieces of pumpkin pie. Or that slice of pumpkin cheesecake. And two slices of pizza on Saturday. Definitely not me...

3. My husband absolutely does NOT ever get sidetracked by his video games or ESPN, especially when we are trying to potty train our 23 month old. So, when Jayden did not tell Daddy he had to go #2 over the weekend, there's no way that my lovely husband thought he was kidding and then let him poop on our carpet instead of taking him to the toilet. Oh, and he definitely did not leave the poop on the carpet for me to clean up because he's absolutely not creeped out by the sight of human feces. Nope, not MY hubby...

...so what did you NOT do today? :)

Keeping Up With The Joneses

Ever heard that phrase? You know, the one that originated back in the 1950's ( I think) where one neighborhood family would always try to keep up with the other family... or "one-up" them? Well, seems to be a recurring theme in our life. I won't name names because I don't know who all actually reads my blog and I wouldn't want to start a war or anything, but it's become somewhat of a theme in our life. For the sake of this post, we will refer to these individuals as "Bobby" and "Susie" (pretty 1950's right?). Ok, so here goes nothing:

Over the past few years, Aaron and I have noticed that this whole "keeping up with our us" or "out-doing us" habits have been occurring and, frankly, it's just getting frustratimg. This isn't to say that Bobby and Susie are doing this intentionally as it could just be part of their personalities, nor is their behavior actually harmful in any way. However, it is extremely frustrating, somewhat childish, and sometimes demeaning. And that's enough to tire anyone out to the point of mental exhaustion. Sometimes we feel like the things we have or the things we achieve aren't good enough in comparison to what they have or what they achieve. Everything they have and everything they do is just "so much better".

Part of me understands that in a way it's up to me to change that thinking. And on one level I really could care less. The things we own do not determine our life's successes. I'm completely content with the things I have (okay, okay... so I would like a bigger house, or actually any house would be fine at this point because I detest our ghetto apartment even if it IS a roof over our heads, but that's besides the point...) and most importantly, I feel blessed to have the wonderful family and friends I have. Every mother thinks her child(ren) are the greatest ever, and I am definitely no different in that aspect. :) But on the flip side of that whole "caring" coin, there's also that part of me that is going mad because I really just want to tell Bobby and Susie to stop trying to size their lives up against mine and Aaron's. I DO care... not in the aspect that what I feel I have is inferior because I don't. What I have a problem with is the fact that it seems like Bobby and Susie feel it's necessary to try and make us feel like we are less...even if they are unaware that they do it.

Who gives a flying fart what kind of car you have or how much money you make? So what if you make more than us or your things are newer than ours? In the end, your life isn't measured nor is anyone really going to give a rat's behind about how big your computer is or that your kid learned how to crap in a toilet before mine.

Tthis is the kind of stuff we have been dealing with lately on what seems to be a regular basis. Petty, unimportant crap. And it's tiring feeling like this wonderful thing called life is being turned into a competitive sport...because, you know what?? I gladly forfeit because I'd much rather spend time raising my children, enjoying life, and creating a lasting legacy to leave behind when I'm no longer here than worrying about my every move and every possession being overshadowed. IT'S JUST NOT WORTH IT!!

Things from kids & birthday parties to we buy something, they buy the same thing (only bigger or better), engagements, weddings. Are we supposed to feel like crap because we did it different? Sometimes they poke their heads into private matters or share private things of theirs that Aaron and I would rather not know about. In regards to sex, I'll admit that especially with two young kids in the house and working full time I'm so tired by the end of the day that sex is often really far from my mind. Making more of an effort is something I'm working on, but is it really up to you to dictate my sex life and tell me I should be having more or less sex? Last time I checked I didn't ask for an intervention from a self-proclaimed Oprah and Dr. Phil. Things like I'll write a proud Mommy moment on Facebook of my child's latest accomplishment because I'm so happy & proud for my kids. Instead of a simple "Congrats!" or "That's awesome!" which would be sufficient, it seems they go above and beyond by saying, "My kid is doing the same thing too.... and he/she has been doing it x amount of times over the last x amount of days/weeks AND he/she can also already tie his/her shoes and say his/her ABC's backwards!! Isn't that great? Oh, but that's awesome about your kid by the way...".

I'm overexaggerating just a bit for theatrics, but you get the idea. I'm all about celebrating accomplishments but there's a line between gracious pride and what I'd consider as close to snobbery. And again, I'm very happy with what I have. I've always grown up with good morals and worked hard to get the things I have and want, so when I do I feel a great sense of accomplishment. I like working hard and reaping the rewards... it makes them so much more important and you are more grateful in the end I think. You learn to love what you have and take nothing for granted. I've gotten to where I am with little financial help at all, but tons of emotional and sometimes physical support from the great family and friends I do have. I just hate having people crap on the accomplishments Aaron and I have made because they need to feel superior, whether unintentional or not. It in no way makes me feel less about what I have...at the end of the day I'm in love more and more with my family. Aaron and I are young and have plenty of time to accumulate things throughout our life. We are just starting out and that's fine by me.

All the other things, the material things...the house and the "things" and "stuff" to fill it with will come as needed and the whole reason that Aaron and I don't have a lot of "stuff" is because we don't need it to feel content with our lives. We cherish the things that come without a price tag...and those are the things that go with us and get passed on to our family when we leave this world. And that's worth more than anything.

Part of it, too, is that I don't understand it. Is it just us or are they like this with other people? If not, why just us? It's not like Aaron and I are rich financially. We live within our means and we make a modest living. We really don't have anything extravagant. I might understand the desire more if we lived in a huge house with a pool out back, a shiny new Lexus in the driveway, and a flat screen in every room. But we don't. We live paycheck to paycheck, and especially so in this economy. Nothing to be jealous or envious of... at least nothing tangible anyway. I think we are rich in other ways, but those are the things that you cannot see or touch...only feel. They can't be bought on clearance at Best Buy.

Don't get me wrong... I really do like Bobby and Susie.They can be really fun people and I'm glad that we are family and we enjoy spending time with them, but there's just some times where a little bit of them goes a long way. And it's not like they do this all the time. However, it feels like they do it A LOT. And maybe I'm making it into a bigger deal than it is or I'm interpreting it in a completely different way then how they mean it. They could be sincere, but it just doesn't come across that way. I'm happy for them in the things they do. I'm more than willing to share in their joy, but it would be nice for them to also share in ours, if they choose to, without strings attached. No additions. Just be happy and leave it at that. When the sometimes selfish, competitive, overbearing nature comes out I just need to take a step back and that's why I come to the semi-secrecy of my blog to throw my tantrum and scream rather than to their faces. We've talked to them about this "competition" before but it's unlikely to change anything. They do what they want when they want to, and don't care if it affects anyone else but them. So Aaron and I suck it up, put up our pretenses and go about it because we do cherish our family and the relationships we have, and well...they are family. All I can do is hope that with time things will get better and this will all be a moot point. Otherwise I think I might go crazy and pull out my hair... and then they'll just brag about how they have more hair than me.

Happy Monday.

P.S. Oh and please... pray for me if and as you feel led. I could use God's grace to help me find the delicate balance in this situation. I want to be able to handle this situation with grace and to learn to not be upset so much by the actions of others. Part of it is that I let it bother me, but really I don't want it to. I wish it was as easy as turning off a switch.

Slow Transit Constipation

I know, I know... kind of a random and awkward title for a post, right? Well, ordinarily I wouldn't use such a graphic title, but it is a Monday and I'm sleep-deprived which means I have zero imagination or creativity at this point. So, cutting right to the chase, I just so aptly titled this post with the formal "diagnosis" I was given for Jaxson's latest medical issue.

Over the past few months, Jaxson has had major issues with constipation. With him being so young, we really didn't know what to do. At first we thought it was a couple random, isolated incidents, but once we realized that it was happening on a recurring basis we knew there was something we were missing. At first we thought that maybe it was just an "allergic" reaction of some sort. That maybe there was a certain food he couldn't process. So in an attempt to quell any future episodes, we postponed the introduction of new baby foods/baby cereal...in fact we cut it out altogether. Then we thought since that didn't fix it that maybe he was lactose intolerant since Aaron was (and apparently I found out that I was on soy formula as a baby too although I have no intolerances or allergies whatsoever). So we switched him to lactose-sensitive formula (and that didn't work) so we went to soy... still constipated.

We tried all the suggestions we were given: prune juice, Karo syrup, mineral oil, rubbing his belly, glycerin suppositories, apple juice, adding fruits and veggies to his diet, adding more fiber... and nothing. He's had at least 4 episodes in the last 3-ish months where he's not pooped for anywhere from 4-8 days. Then, once he finally does go he's so bloated, his belly is rock hard as are his stools, and he strains because he's in pain. And he's like that for at least 2 days while his body finally pushes out everything that's stuck in there. He doesn't sleep because he cries out in pain everytime he has to go because it burns and because the bowels are too hard and bigger than the place they have to come out. His bottom rashes, breaks out into sores, and bleeds from all the bowels and the acidity. He breaks out into a fever and becomes lethargic. And the worst part about it?? There's absolutely nothing I can do to make it better...and as a mom that's the WORST feeling ever knowing that your child is in pain and you are completely helpless to stop it.

I finally broke down and called the doctor on Friday after his latest episode. I told them, "I need answers". All these quick fixes and old wives' remedies were not working. My son can't poop and he's suffering and obviously something was missed since this happens at least once a month. It's not just something random and I need to do something, ANYTHING to help my kid so they told me to bring him in first thing Saturday morning to be seen. Luckily for Jaxson, the worst was over by then as he spent Friday pooping his brains out (and luckily this was a "minor" case compared to some of the others he's had) and by the time we saw the doctor he was on his way back to normal.

Doctor said that there's not much to be concerned about and he's seen this a fair amount over his 20+ years in the profession. He diagnosed Jaxson with "slow transit constipation" meaning his body has a tendency to be delayed in processing the contents of his diet through his bowels. We should expect him to have episodes in the future, but that we can help him by going back to the Karo syrup (which is apparently a natural "laxative"), but we have to use the organic, dark kind. We are supposed to put a tablespoon a day in his bottle and if that doesn't work then we need to switch to Miralax, which is an adult laxative that we can turn into a child's dose. We need to increase the grains in his diet (which has been a challenge because Jaxson is averse to eating baby food and baby cereal--- he'll eat "adult food" but he hates the texture of the jarred foods, even the organic ones I make) and stay away from certain foods like: bananas (one of Jaxson's favorites) and soy---so we have to switch his formula yet again.

So, basically he has to have a specialized diet and we need to watch him carefully. Dr. P said that it's quite possible that he will struggle with this for life---maybe not to this extent, but he will be more prone to being constipated than the average person. Where one person may become mildly constipated, Jaxson will more than likely have a more aggressive case. Some kids may grow out of it, so it's possible he could as well once his diet improves and he's introduced to more foods, but he will always want to stay away from the foods that are more likely to cause constipation at least until his problem is under control. Right now we are in a waiting period... I'm hoping that the Karo syrup (which was actually originally my mom's suggestion since she said she used it on us kids when we were stopped up---guess those old fashioned remedies aren't complete crap, huh?) will help with his problem now that we are using it on a daily basis. Guess it's just trial and error though. We won't really know until he has another episode.

All I know is that I really want my baby to be better. These last few months, moreso the last month, has been hell for Jaxson. Jayden's been sick too but Jaxson's had a rough time lately. Hopefully things will be looking up. Next step is to get more grains into his diet. I think I'm going to start making him oatmeal. The real stuff...not the baby crap. I have found out through all of this that he loves french fries, melon, gravy, Cheerios, and Ritz crackers though! :)

Please keep my baby in your thoughts and prayers that his episodes stay to a minimum. Seeing your child in duress is the worst... Fingers crossed that these new implementations work!!

Stats Galore!

So, I took all of Jaxson's 7 month measurements last night and here they are as follows:

Weight: 17 lbs. 6oz. (30%)
Length: 27.5 in. (65%)
Head circumference: 17 in. (20%)

He's still a little guy but it looks like he's going to be tall and skinny. He's still not as tall as his big brother was at this age. Overall it looks as though he grows taller each month faster than he's gaining weight.

As for me... this week has been both good and bad. I've done pretty well, but I can't say I haven't been tempted. Baby showers and Halloween have provided opportunities for me to go hog wild. I didn't completely deny myself, but I'm happy to say that I did moderate myself very well...and I'm still on the losing (or winning!) end... Here are my stats:

STARTING- mid October
Weight: 177 lbs.
Waist: 35 in.
BMI: 24.7

LAST WEEK- 10/29
Weight: 172 lbs.
Waist: 34 in.
BMI: 24.0

CURRENT- 11/6
Weight: 170 lbs. (-2 from last week, -7 total)
Waist: 34 in. (-0 from last week, -1 total)
BMI: 23.7 (-.3 from last week, -1 total)

Better than nothing... Can't complain even though I know I can do better! Now let's hope I make it through the holidays relatively unscathed. I can do it!! Aaron said he was going to buy me the Zumba DVD's since I love to dance...that way I can actually add some exercise to my routine without it being so mundane, repetitive, and boring. I'm excited!!

Oh, and I was going to upload some more recent pictures to share with all of you, but my USB cable magically grew legs and walked off, so hopefully I can find it and then share with you all our wonderful fall pictures.

Happy Friday!!

Happy 7 Months!!

Jaxson is 7 months old today!!! I haven't done his "official" stats yet, but I'll update when I do (barring I don't forget!!) I can't believe how quickly time is just flying by! It's crazy! Jaxson is learning so much. He's crawling now (and has been for about a month) but it's not your typical hands and knees crawl. He gets up on his hands and knees, but when he wants to actually start moving, he plops onto his belly and "slithers". Eh, he gets where he wants to go, so I guess that's really all that matters. :) His 2 newest things are babbling with "words" (he says "ah da da da!!" when he's either really happy or really upset) and pulling himself up/holding on to things standing. He can't get himself into a fully standing position without help, but he's trying!!!

Other than that, there's not much that's new around our house. We may be moving at the end of this month. Aaron's friend moved back from California and doesn't want to live at home with his parents, so we may all be getting a place together. We haven't decided for sure if we want to do this, but we are going to talk it over this weekend to find out for sure. We have to give our apartments notice by the 10th, so time's a wastin'!! So, I'm using the end of this month as a transition marker for both boys. Regardless of if we move or not, we are going to put Jayden in his big boy bed with rails and Jaxson is going to start sleeping in the crib. With how mobile he's been lately, I feel unsafe having him in our bed these days and I'd like to get back to sleeping. I'm not sure how this is going to work exactly with both boys in the same room because if one wakes up, then the other will too, so this is going to be a new thing for all of us. Thankfully I don't have to think about it for 3 more weeks. :)

We found out yesterday that Aaron's cousin, Sephora, passed away. She was 35. We are sad to know that she has passed and I feel especially bad for her 4 young children. We didn't really know her well since Aaron and I had only met her once last December at my father in law's funeral, but I'm glad that she's finally at peace. No one seems to really know anything about why she died or even when but, as horrible as this might sound, it doesn't really surprise me in the least. Sephora has had her struggles with substance abuse (especially drugs--not completely sure about alcohol) and she was recently in rehab. All we know is it happened on or before Tuesday. If I find anything more out, then I will post updates. I'm glad that her struggles are finally over and she can rest peacefully now...no more pain or emptiness. I have faith that God is protecting her now. Please pray for her family...especially for her younger brother and her children. I cannot imagine the grief they are feeling right now. Rest in peace, Sephora Lynn Andresen. May all your troubles be forgotten...

Tricks, Treats, and Frights!

We've had a busy weekend. Halloween was interesting to say the least. We were able to get Jayden to keep most of his costume on, which made me happy considering the fiasco with pictures a few weeks back. He didn't want to wear anything so I figured we'd have a repeat of that. In fact, he actually let us take some cute pictures of him in his costume which I will share soon (I just have to upload them from my camera...which usually takes ages with how busy I am). It was rainy so we didn't get to take him around outside to the neighborhoods, but we did go to Alderwood Mall where we met up with Aaron's brother, Tommy, and his wife Samantha. Their son, Brayden, dressed up as Elmo. Very cute!! Unfortunately, by the time we got there most of the candy was picked over and so most stores were out. It wasn't really a big deal as Jayden wasn't too excited about trick or treating anyway (although he did go up to a few people and say "Uh oh treat!") ...and we will probably end up eating most of his candy anyway. But he definitely knows what candy is since he kept saying it clear as day all the way to Denny's where we went for dinner. The kids got to eat for free and Jayden got a cool soccer cup which he was very excited about. :)

Then we decided to go back home as it was well after bedtime. I was very much ready to just relax the rest of the night, but it looks like that wasn't going to happen. Jayden has been fighting bedtime lately and he wanted me to rock him. I asked Aaron to watch the baby and get him to sleep too as he was tired and cranky and I went in to do my usual "rock and sing" routine to Jayden. Just a few minutes later I heard a sound like something fell off the table and hit the floor. Then I heard Jaxson crying. At first I didn't put the two together...I just figured something fell off the table and then Jaxson was mad because Aaron wasn't holding him. But I knew something was wrong when Aaron called out for me in a panicked voice. I quickly and gently put a half-asleep Jayden on the floor (which ended up scaring him and he woke up crying and screaming) to open the door to a crying Jaxson with a huge white and blue bump on his head. So, I naturally asked Aaron what happened and he told me that he tried to get Jax to sleep but he wouldn't go to bed so he got on the computer while holding Jax and he lunged out of Aaron's arms and smacked his head on the corner of the computer monitor.

At this point, I was so upset, angry, worried, panicked...you named it. I was shouting at Aaron because I'd had this conversation with him multiple times about how he gets distracted when he wants to do something for himself and doesn't pay adequate attention to the kids. Half the time I ask him to help with the kids, he gets frustrated because he has a different agenda (like he wants to play video games or get on the computer to look at video game stuff or football stuff) and he will just put Jaxson on the floor to cry so he can do what he wants instead of working on getting him to bed (which he usually leaves for me). Not saying that he doesn't help out, but he gets sidetracked because he's too impatient to put the kids as a priority at night when he wants to wind down and relax. And that leads to him not being as attentive and careful...which is why Jaxson hit his head.

Anyway, so I'm packing up the kids to go to the hospital, Aaron's on the phone calling 911 (which prompted some firemen to come to our house to check Jax out) and we are screaming at each other. The firemen said that Jax looked like he was responding well but with any head injury especially with a child so young, it would be best to take him to the ER just to make sure there's no internal damage to his head. So Aaron stayed home with Jayden and I took Jaxson to Stevens Hospital since it was the closest to home. The nurses and doctors checked him and said he looked okay as far as his responses but that he did take a pretty nasty fall and that his bump was relatively large...large enough for them to want to do a CT scan to make sure that there was no issues with his skull or bleeding on the brain. We had to wait a while for the scan, but Jaxson passed the scan just fine. He's going to have a big bump on his head for awhile and there will be quite a bit of bruising, but he will be okay.

So, not exactly how I wanted to spend my Halloween night, not to mention that ER visits and CT scans are expensive, but I guess that there's no price you can put on making sure your children are okay. And this has also been a lesson for Aaron (and myself as well) to be more patient and attentive. Aaron felt horrible about what happened and I know that I didn't make him feel any better about the situation so that is something I need to work on since I know it was an accident that could have just as easily happened in my care, but he also learned that the kids' needs should always come before his own (and his free time). He feels so horrible about the situation and has been giving Jaxson some extra lovin' which has been really cute to see. Jayden's been really attentive and careful too... he keeps saying, "Mama! Baby crying!" or "Mama! Baby owwie!".

So that was our weekend. Oh, and we might be moving at the end of this month. Aaron's friend, Pete, just moved back from CA and needs a place to stay so we've offered to let him stay with us, but we need a larger apartment. Aaron is looking into 3 bedroom apartments in the area and we might be signing a 6 month lease in a bigger, nicer place. I'll keep you posted.