I didn't really do the typical "New Year" post where I reflected on the year that passed and focused on what is to come in the New Year, resolutions (which I don't ever do because I never stick to them), etc. This is the closest I'll get to a New Year post for 2011 since it does contain a checklist of sorts... mostly just the random thoughts that have been pouring in and out of my brain since the New Year started. So here it goes...
When I first started thinking about writing this post about a week ago, I have to admit that I was in a completely different frame of mind than I am now after putting this post on hold. To be honest, I was a basket case... and now that I've had some time to sort myself out, I'm in a better state of mind and can clearly reflect and move forward. Very indicative of a "New Year" type of post, right? So, call this a "stream of consciousness" if you will as really there's no order to it and I'm just going to type about the things that pop into my head.
Once 2011 rolled around, I have to admit that I had a "holy shit!" moment. Not just because it's a new year, which in the most immediate future that means a new baby for our family, but because it's January... and as I've noted before, January could easily be Owen's birth month. Not to mention, that in addition to our new addition, we have a big move coming up and with that means a lot of leg work. January has so far proven to be a very goal-driven month chock full of prep work in the small amount of time we have spent in this month and, to be quite honest, it's made me a little crazy. If there's one thing I know to be true, it's this: There are 2 very big and very special occasions (and the time leading up to those occasions) in a woman's life where she is "allowed" to be a stressed-out, bitchy, hormonal wreck of a person without needing to worry facing massive recourse or being labeled a complete diva or psycho: her wedding day & the birth(s) of her child(ren). While I'm fairly certain I escaped the "bridezilla" label on my wedding day as it was very simple & relaxed (yay for courthouse weddings!), both my husband and I can attest to me being a "preggozilla" as of late. I call it nesting, however my husband would tend to disagree... he cringes at the mere mention of the word and huffs out in a tone laden with major scoffing, "Why do they call it nesting?? It's stupid... you're not a bird.". Call it what you will (I call it pregnancy hormones), but I've had my moments where I'm close to being certifiably crazy and I feel terrible not only because I'm fully aware that I'm being semi-ridiculous and making a mountain from a molehill, but mostly because even though I know that these feelings are all "normal" I hate the fact that I cannot control them... and that it not only affects me, but those around me. I'm a partial control freak... but it's just my Type A, organized, don't-wait-til-the-last-minute-or-do-anything-half-assed personality. Reminds me of the movie, "Knocked Up" where Katherine Heigl kicks Seth Rogen out of the car in the middle of the road for something really stupid and he shows up later to her doctor's appointment and says "Fuck you, hormones! You are a bitch, hormones!". Pretty much sums it up. I wish I could tell my hormones to take a hike. I mean, I literally spent Tuesday at my desk bawling over stuff that I couldn't control...and I felt like a prize idiot even though I simply couldn't help myself.
What has brought all of this on? What did I make into such a big deal? Enter the checklist; the chatterbox of thoughts my brain has become lately.
1. Prepare for baby--- there are many steps to this process, but the main ones include: set up bassinet, get car seat in car, pack hospital bag, buy last minute items, pull clothes our of storage to wash, fold, and put in bassinet's storage, get maternity pictures, make last minute calls for clarification on Owen's hearing test & other newborn tests as well as circumcision, & make a plan for daycare for the boys during labor.
2. Go apartment hunting--- we need to secure an apartment that both Aaron and I like by the end of the month for a mid-February move.
3. Finish last minute baby projects--- Make Owen's crib bedding & wall letters (which I did finish and pictures will follow at bottom of post)
4. Finances/maternity leave--- how long can we afford for me to be out? Will we have enough money between Aaron's income, my short term disability, savings, and our tax return to cover all our expenses & still have money to move into our new place & get some needed furniture & items for baby & the new apartment? What will daycare be like since Nana Joan will likely be out around the same time as me for her knee replacement surgery? When will she recover? Since I most likely cannot return to work until her recovery is done, it throws a lot up in the air.
5. Weather concerns--- Thanks to us living in the "convergent zone", we have a tendency to get just cold enough temperatures to turn the decent amount of rain we get into snow. Then when it's warm enough not to snow but not warm enough to melt, all the residual stuff on the roads turns to ice & stays that way for weeks. Given that we have hills around here and no one seems to know how to properly sand them, it makes for a hell of a time to do anything that requires travel. With all the above said prep needing to take place before Owen's (hopeful) arrival at the end of this month and with weekends being the only time Aaron and I have to do this stuff, I was majorly stressing about the possibility of being stuck at home with no way to get out to accomplish these things. Luckily, the weather people are (hopefully) full of shit, and the original forecast of snow, snow, and more snow over the next two weeks has been converted to a forecast of rain, rain, and more rain due to the rising temperatures. Let's hope that this forecast is more accurate than the original one. I can deal with rain and temps in the 40's. 30's and 20's? Not so much... and especially when I have much needed weekly midwife appointments on the horizon.
Which brings me to my next thought as if all the others weren't enough to confuse you. So, I have officially been placed on "pelvic rest". This means no sex, minimal bending & lifting, and lots of relaxation. I've been having some signs of pre-term labor (I'll find out on the 12th if it's causing changes to my cervix) and since I'm not quite full term, they want me to "take it easy". Hahahahahaha... are they aware that I have two young children at home? It's much easier said than done, trust me. I've also been given the clearance for warm baths and a nightly glass of wine. I'm not a wine drinker, and especially not a red wine drinker, but I'm tempted to see if it really helps me relax. I might have to try it on Monday night while I curl up and watch "The Bachelor". :)
So, it's been a rough few weeks for me both physically and emotionally as of late. And I'm sure there are a quite a few more ahead, but I suppose that just comes with the territory of preparing for a baby, having a baby, dealing with a new baby in the house with other children, and then moving apartments. I'm tired and uncomfortable from contracting and feeling as huge as a house, not sleeping well due to massive heartburn & indigestion, numb sides, and a toddler refusing bedtime, not to mention that Owen has dropped and his head is firmly balanced on my cervix (which he likes to sucker punch)... in addition to all the thoughts circling in my brain, I'm pretty sure that's enough to make anyone completely imbalanced. I guess I just have to pace myself and bask in the momentary lulls that come from achieving the smaller goals. I know for each item on my checklist that I complete, I will feel that much more prepared and therefore not as much of a crazy, hormonal pregnant woman. So here's to itty bitty baby steps... first mine, and then Owen's. :) Oh, how I can't wait to meet him (and not just because I'm tired of being pregnant, although I'm sure that's a completely valid reason at this stage).
Aren't you glad you decided to read this blog & take a glimpse into my brain? If you are spinning in circles then now you know what it's like to be in the shoes of a very hormonal & very pregnant woman and this entry has served it's purpose... and for that I'm sorry. Ha!
Oh, and as promised, here are the pictures of two things I was able to complete: buying the fabric to make Owen's bedding (we were going to do a pirate theme but just couldn't locate the bedding to buy anywhere, so now we are going with a homemade monkey theme) & making his wall letters.
Above: My mom and I will be tag-teaming on his bedding over the next few weekends. We bought an assortment of fabric to make 3 crib sheets, the dust ruffle, & the quilt. We will use a breathable, baby-safe bumper so we aren't making a padded bumper to match. In the future, I may buy more accent fabrics to make his valance, curtains, & basket covers for his nursery. I have to admit I feel awesome about this... they were having a New Year's sale, so we got all the fabric at 30% off and the pattern which was normally $16 was only 99 cents!! The bedding that we were going to buy not including all the extras we were going to buy was $170 alone, but we got everything we needed for his bedding for a whopping total of $86!! Score!!
Below: Wall letters. They were pre-cut, white painted letters. I just added the stripes & polka dot in the accent colors to match his bedding. I think they turned out pretty good, don't you?
No comments:
Post a Comment