Ultrasound & Big Gender Reveal!!

So, we had our 20 week ultrasound last Wednesday. I told the technician that we did want to know the sex, but not to tell us. I came prepared with an envelope to put everything in so it could be sealed up and given to my sister for safekeeping until our gender reveal party that we held last Saturday. Inside the envelope was another envelope for the pictures & video they gave us along with a slip of paper for the technician to mark the gender on.

Anyway, I watched most of the scan with the exception of the parts where I could get a glimpse of gender. Little Sprout was being difficult as he/she wanted to move around the whole time so it took many tries to get just the right angles for the shots they needed. We got to see lots of LS's kidneys, heart, and brain. We were able to get some pictures of LS's face, but I was told that he/she is already head down with the face turned to the side so it was difficult. The good news is that Little Sprout is very healthy and is measuring on track, if not bigger than gestational age. They aren't concerned that some measurements are off as they are less accurate the farther along you are, but it looks like I'm measuring closer to an EDD of February 3rd as a general rule. They are still keeping my date at the 7th though. Baby already has a big head like Daddy (Aaron thought that it was funny that LS's head was measuring a week over my EDD, but me not so much as I have to push it out of my body...). And they were able to capture Little Sprout's mystery genetalia. At that point I got anxious... someone officially knew the sex of my baby and it wasn't me.

All I was sent out with was this...

...and had to wait until Saturday. I was a good girl and didn't peek at all. I wasn't even really all that tempted although the thought of knowing that the answer was two feet from my face for hours before my sister came to pick the envelope up was enough to drive me crazy.

...and I waited. And pondered. Boy or girl? Girl everyone said. I swore we were having a girl. Was my mom's intuition right? Was Jayden's prediction of a "baby sister" right?

Finally Saturday came. The party was not all that I expected. Had I known that people were going to bail last minute, I would have done something smaller. Note to self: IF there is a next time and a next baby, there will not be a reveal party. It was fun to an extent, but I hyped it up so much and was disappointed. At least I found out those who really cared enough to be there. Everyone else can just bite me if they didn't have a reason to show up, or said they would be there and then didn't come. Heck, I could have used the money I'd spent on the party to buy my baby's crib or bedding...or lots of clothes. For those that did show up, it was fun. Even if they came an hour late. We ate food and played baby bingo... which failed miserably but was hilarious.

And then came the moment we all were waiting for... The BIG reveal!! Everyone said girl except my dad. Aaron, Jayden, and I dug into the gender neutral bag to reveal our baby's sex.

Pink or blue?? Well, THIS is what we pulled out...

Yup!!! IT'S A BOY!!! All of those wives' tales and gender predictors were wrong. Everything said girl. The only one that was right on the money was the scientific study about placental placement which can be deciphered at your first scan between 6-8 weeks. It was the only one to say boy (and it was right with my other two as well).

Then my sister said, "Just wait... the cake is even better!". Being the prankster my sister can be at times, Aaron thought that the blue was a joke and the cake was pink for a girl.

No pranks this time. Just one awesome cake from the Monroe Fred Meyer's bakery with our THIRD SON'S face shown to the world. Just awesome. :)

And if that wasn't enough to convince everyone, we pulled out the pictures from the envelope I gave my sister to find these:

The profile shot (also shown on the cake):

His face:

And the "money" shot (and, oh boy, have I seen lots of those in my house):

Yeah, there's no mistaking that. :) I gotta be honest that we were all a bit disappointed even if it didn't show on the outside. Jayden still says he wants a baby sister, I know Aaron wants a girl, and I even cried on Sunday mourning the daughter I'll never have. All is well now though, as I know that God knows better than I do, and I'm very happy and proud that I have yet another healthy little boy to love.

... and who knows, there may be room for a fourth child yet. We haven't decided for sure, and it will be YEARS before we cross that bridge if we do, but this may not be the last of them according to my husband. So there is still a chance to have that one little princess who will be Daddy's little girl, Mommy's best friend, & loved and protected by her THREE older brothers... or we will just have to start our own basketball team with another boy. :)

For now, we are proud to announce the impending arrival of our third prince, Owen Isaiah Andresen.

19 & 20 Weeks

I'm actually 21 weeks today, but I'm a bit behind schedule because of being sick 2 weeks ago and then trying to scramble to get back on my feet last week with work in addition to my ultrasound & planning two parties!! Luckily this week is back to normal (or as normal as things get!) so I'm going to do my 19 & 20 week surveys with pictures, and then once my hubby takes my picture for this week, I'll post my 21 week survey.

Also to come in a separate post is information about the ultrasound, gender reveal party, and what Little Sprout is!!

19 Weeks

How far along?: 19 weeks

Total weight gain: I gained a few pounds then lost it so I still think around 8-9 pounds.

How big is baby?: About the size of a mango or heirloom tomato (6 inches & 8.5 ounces)

Maternity clothes?: Yup, still a must.

Stretch marks?: Still no new ones that I can tell.

Sleep?: Thanks to the Vicodin and narcotics for the migraine, yes. Otherwise, no.

Movement?: Still wiggling. Even Vicodin doesn't slow this one down.

Food cravings?: Yea, anything would be great. Can't keep down food & nothing sounds good.

Labor signs?: No, but I'd rather be in labor than deal with this migraine another day.

Belly button in or out?: In.

What I miss: My family (quarantined away from them), my sanity, and not having a migraine.

What I'm looking forward to: The day I'm not in pain anymore.

Weekly wisdom: Ha, yeah... don't get migraines for over a week. They suck and lead to big medical bills.

Milestone: No clue... I'm still about halfway.

20 Weeks

How far along?: 20 weeks

Total weight gain: Back up to around 10-11 pounds gained or so.

How big is baby?: According to the ultrasound, right on track. Babycenter says that it's about the size of a cantaloupe or length of a banana (6.5 inches & 10.5 ounces)

Maternity clothes?: Yup.

Stretch marks: Same as last week.

Sleep?: Much better. Still need Vicodin some days, but almost back to normal.

Best moment this week?: The relief from the headaches & seeing Little Sprout again.

Movement?: Still shakin' & groovin' all day long...

Food cravings?: No. Just being able to eat without puking is a blessing.

Labor signs?: No, but I did have my first Braxton Hicks this week that I could feel.

Belly button in or out?: Still in.

What I miss: Being able to go up a flight of stairs without huffing.

What I'm looking forward to: Gender reveal party on Saturday!

Weekly Wisdom: I think I'm fresh out of wisdom this week... not enough time to think I'm so busy!!

Milestone: Halfway done... yay!!

The week from HELL!

I had all intentions of posting last week but it ended up becoming a week of pure craziness out of my control.

I have had a sinus infection since Labor Day but my doctor didn't give me antibiotics when I first called because she said that it's typical for pregnant women to be sicker for longer because of a suppressed immune system and she figured I'd get over it on my own. It wasn't too terrible, but I was definitely miserable. Fast forward to last Monday...

I woke up between 6:30-7am with a MASSIVE headache. I am prone to getting headaches, and especially painful ones, but they had never been classified as anything particular. Turns out it was the start of a migraine. Little did I know how long it would last... I went to work that morning as usual, but because of my headache, lights, sound, & movement all made it worse. I ended up going home that afternoon to sleep it off because the Extra Strength Tylenol wasn't working. By that evening, and at my doctor's advisement, I went to Evergreen's ER department. By the time I was admitted, the pain was so immense that I was reduced to tears. Even after having a natural birth, I've never seen pain like this in my life. They gave me fluids and a narcotic called Dilotid along with anti-nausea medicine. I was sent home early Tuesday morning with the request I follow up with my doctor.

Tuesday I went to my PCP and I was a mess. She said I'm chronically sleep deprived, overworked, and that my condition was worsened by pregnancy hormones ( I have an estrogen overload) and my sinus infection. She gave me a shot of Phenergan for nausea, a shot of Demerol for the pain, and sent me home with more oral Phenergan, Vicodin, and Amoxicillin. I was already sick and lost it in the elevator. I got outside and started vomiting everywhere. From then on, I was unable to eat for 3-4 days and could barely even hold down water. I was told I'd be better in a day or two.

Wednesday continued with no pain relief, constant vomiting, no food, and lots of pain meds. By Wednesday night I was in so much pain that I was again reduced to tears and begging for the ER. So, my husband (who had come by to see me since I was staying at my mom's in a dark, quiet environment) drove me down the street to Providence and I was admitted. Providence has the worst waiting room ever. The lights were so bright, every child in Everett was there, people loudly talking on their phones, and TWO TV's turned up at full blast. I almost tossed my cookies again from all the agitation. They had only one bed in a quiet, dark room and it was in use so I was left to suffer in the waiting room for 3 hours, laying on a blanket on the hard tile floor while they let everyone else back but me. I was pale, obviously dehydrated (My tongue was bone dry and my lips were white)... it was terrible. I was seriously contemplating death. I wanted to be shot. I literally would have rather been in labor for days on end than go through what I was. They finally got me in a shared room next to a foul-mouthed groaning man, but the nurse and doctor were at my side within minutes with more Dilotid and some Zofran. They did do an MRI to make sure there were no blood clots or tumors (it came back clean) and discharged me around 4am Thursday.

Thursday and Friday were a rollercoaster. One minute I felt better, the next worse. I went to the chiropractor on Friday which helped my neck pain and leg pain, but my back and head still killed. I threw up again, but was able to at least keep hydrated.

Saturday I felt well enough to go rest at home with my family and I missed my children terribly. I hadn't seen them all week long and even though I was not completely well, Saturday was the first day I felt any relief or saw any light at the end of the tunnel. I was well enough to brave the chaos but I didn't get much rest because my husband wasn't as helpful, compassionate, or understanding as he could have been. That's another subject all together, but I won't talk about it for fear my migraine will return. :)

Sunday was worse than Saturday because Sunday is "Football Day" for my husband which means that everything else takes a backseat including your kids, the house chores (which I was supposed to be on bedrest and not doing), and your sick, pregnant wife. Yes, you heard me right... I ended up on my feet all day carrying around & carrying my children and doing at least 80% of the housework while my husband ignored everyone and ranted about how much the Seahawks sucked. I was not happy to say the least. Then, on top of it all, my 2 year old, Jayden, started jumping on his bed against our attempts to stop him. I went in to use the bathroom and heard a loud crack and Jayden started screaming. Aaron was too wrapped up in football and didn't bother to check on him even though he heard him screaming and crying. I washed my hands and went to check on Jayden since usually he stops crying... but this time he didn't. I walk in to see my son's face, bed, clothes, carpet, and wall splattered with his blood. His face and hands were dripping. I screamed for Aaron and started bawling and panicking... and hyperventilating which made me extremely dizzy in my already weakened state. We checked him and cleaned off the blood to see a gash on the bridge of his nose from side to side. I knew right away by looking that he needed medical attention, so I was luckily able to find ONE walk-in clinic open on a Sunday evening that does stitches. I rushed him to Providence at Mill Creek and got in right away. His gash was still bleeding after an hour, he was swollen & lethargic, but such a trooper for a little guy. Luckily there was no head trauma and, even though it was deep enough to not stop bleeding completely, it wasn't deep enough to require stitches. They used a glue to glue the tissue back together. So he's got a good size gash on his nose and it's swollen and bruised, but he's otherwise fine.

What a week!!!

I'm back at work today and while my headache is pretty much gone, my body is still sore and I feel weak. I feel a little nauseated still and I'm dizzy (the lights and computer are bothering me) but I'm surviving. Little Sprout is well despite kicking my ass this week... one active baby who is already able to kick my cervix (which hurts like hell) and is giving me Braxton Hicks. I'm 20 weeks today and we have our ultrasound on Wednesday and find out Saturday what LS is. After all of this that has happened, we have decided 100% that this is our last baby. I couldn't survive another week like this. I'm excited to see who is in there beating the crap out of me, though. :) Hopefully once I get over the trauma of this past week, I can get back to enjoying the pregnancy since it is my last, but to be honest I'm ready to find out who this little one is and then make a fast track to February.

I'll update as I can and as my workload allows since I'm playing catch up, but I will soon get out my 19 & 20 week updates as well as an ultrasound update & the BIG announcement over the weekend. :)

Pregnancy & Little Sprout

I've journaled a little bit about my pregnancy, especially in the earlier stages, but it's been awhile since I've really done any updates (unless preggo brain has gotten the best of me, which is entirely possible). So, I decided to start doing weekly updates as long as I can remember. I have a book I fill in every week called "The Belly Book" that you journal in along with weekly belly photos, update with appointments, cravings, etc. I remember finding this book at Barnes and Noble shortly after I found out I was pregnant with Jayden back in 2007 and it's become a "tradition" for me to do one with each child after him. It's definitely fun to look back on, and maybe one day my kids will enjoy looking at it like I do. I've been doing really good about taking belly pictures, but I haven't actually been posting them anywhere. Eventually I'll send them in to Snapfish to print for "The Belly Book", the baby's scrapbook, and probably some for the baby book, but until then I suppose I could post the electronic versions here.

An aquaintence of mine, and fellow blogger, did a really neat weekly survey when she was pregnant with her son that I thought was cool, so I'm actually snatching that idea and using that along with my belly pictures to do an online "belly book" so to speak. So, starting now at 18 weeks pregnant, here are all of my past belly pictures and this week's survey. **I'm giving you fair warning that some of these preggo pictures are absolutely hideous!! I'm not the prettiest girl to look at as it is, but couple that with the late night "frumpy, pregnant mom" look and well, it'll scare you. This pregnancy has taken what beauty I did have and threw it out the window, so bear with me... and if your retinas are scarred for life after seeing these, I sincerely apologize (hey, at least I didn't take bare belly or half naked pics in my underwear and scare you off with my stretch marks!!). **

4 weeks

5 weeks

6 weeks

7 weeks

8 weeks

9 weeks

10 weeks

11 weeks

12 weeks

13 weeks

14 weeks

15 weeks

16 weeks

17 weeks

18 weeks

...oh and here is a picture of the red cabbage test I took a week or two ago. There's a lot of those wives tales about the pH of your urine depicting the sex of the baby. Last time I spent $30 on the Intelligender test which said Jaxson was a boy (which he obviously was), but I didn't want to spend that much money again knowing that the stats for the Intelligender test yield a lot of false boy results, especially on something that was just meant for fun. So, instead I did the much cheaper and safer red cabbage test and just bought a cabbage at the store and boiled it to get the juice. You mix equal parts red cabbage juice with urine and if it turns red or pink... it's a boy. Purple? It's a girl. What were my results?

Purple. Or at least that's what it looks like to me. We will know for sure in about 2 weeks!!

And... for the weekly survey:

How far along?: 18w1d today.

Total weight gain: About 7-8 pounds.

How big is baby?: According to BabyCenter, the baby is about the size of a sweet potato or bell pepper (5.6 inches & 6.7 ounces)

Maternity clothes?: Oh yes, with this being my third baby they are a must (and more comfy!)

Stretch marks?: Yes, but all from my prior pregnancies. No new ones...yet.

Sleep?: It's okay... except for when I have to get up and pee at 4am.

Best moment this week?: Baby's movement has progressed from wiggles & squirms to actual thumps and kicks. I can feel them both internally & externally now.

Movement?: Ha, see above. Lots of thumps & kicks. This baby is really reactive to food & loud noises. Aaron and I were playing a video game last night and baby was going WILD!!

Food cravings?: Nothing that stands out. I like to have eggs, hash browns, and toast for breakfast almost every day though.

Labor signs?: Nope, too early for that. I don't even have any Braxton Hicks at this point.

Belly button in or out?: In.

What I miss: Not peeing my pants when I cough, sneeze, or laugh. Babies destroy bladders.

What I'm looking forward to: Our next ultrasound on the 22nd and then our gender party on the 25th!

Weekly Wisdom: Make sure to document your pregnancies. Take lots of pictures and journal. It might sound corny at the time, but years afterwards you will be happy and grateful that you did...and it gives you something to share with your kids when they are older.

Milestone: I'm almost halfway there...woo hoo! Developmentally for Little Sprout, he/she is moving and flexing more often, blood vessels are visible through the skin, his/her ears are in their final position and all genetalia are completely formed & visible regardless of boy or girl.

1st Motorcycle Ride

Let me preface this by saying that Jayden LOVES motorcycles! I can't say that it's a "new" fetish as he's always seemed to like anything that moves, but in the last 6 months or so he's become obsessed with motorcycles. If he sees any on the road, he gets so excited and calls them by color... "Look, Mama! Black motorcycle!! See it?". He's like a kid in a candy store. He knows each and every motorcycle at our apartment complex and if one is missing from its parking space, he'll ask me where it went. Any time we go to a toy store or Target, he'll ask if he can get a motorcycle. Luckily the little Matchbox ones suffice and it's great since they are inexpensive...and let me tell you that he's got quite the collection now. I think it's his mission to at least have one in every color available and then some.

So, when we went to visit my friend Rachel and her family for their oldest son's 3rd birthday party last weekend and he saw her husband, Brandon, come inside with his helmet and gloves on, he flipped! I think Brandon became his new best friend instantaneously. He was gracious enough to let Jayden walk around wearing his helmet and gloves (which I wish I would have gotten pictures of as it was hilarious!!)... and he even took us down to his motorcycle and let Jayden have a "ride" on it (no, he didn't actually drive anywhere on it). Jayden got to turn it on and give it some gas, he got to turn the lights on, and pretend to drive. To say that he was in heaven was an understatement. I don't think I've ever seen him so purely happy ever. He was like a kid at Christmas... but even better. Jaxson even got to sit on the motorcycle which he thought was pretty cool too.

Needless to say I think that Jayden is going to have motorcycles on the brain for a while... he already has mentioned that he wants a motorcycle birthday party at Chuck E Cheese. Haha!

Big Boy Beds

About two weeks ago we decided to do a bit of revamping in the boys' room. Jaxson has been refusing to sleep in the crib because he hates it--- he co-slept at an early age so it could be what he's used to. We tried the crib multiple times and he'd cry until he puked on himself. As a mom who practices AP & babywearing, I just couldn't stand to let that happen and the only reason I did so was the insistance of my husband. I guess I should have listened to my maternal instincts. We would then either sleep on a bed or on a couch and he'd be out like a light until morning. I even let him sleep on the couch next to me and he had no problem, but we really wanted to get both boys back in their own beds. So we decided to get rid of our crib because the one we have is currently a drop side, and with the new safety laws they will be voting on in December and making legal by mid-year next year, essentially all drop sides will be banned or will need to undergo serious modifications to pass the new standards. So since we knew we'd need a new crib anyway, we gave our old one to Nana Joan so she can set it up as a day bed in the playroom she has for the boys.

Around Jayden's 2nd birthday we acquired a bunk bed set from Nana Joan that was left behind by one of her neighbors and she thought it would be perfect for the boys so she gave it to us. We turned the bottom bunk into Jayden's bed and then stacked the top bunk on top of it. The top bunk had no mattress or anything, but we stacked it to save space as we had the crib in the same room at the time. Jayden's mattress was flimsy and old, so he needed a new one. A couple weekends ago we made a trip to IKEA to buy two new mattresses and got some wooden supports for the beds. Then we went to Target to buy a bedding set to match the one that Jayden already had and we de-bunked the beds and turned them into two singles for the boys. They now officially both have big boy beds and have a big boy room... and they LOVE it!! They both sleep in their own beds and sleep through the night. It's been wonderful.

Here are a couple pictures from their first night sleeping in their new beds...

Bathtime & the TV

As it has been mentioned frequently, my boys LOVE bath time. I mean, LOVE it. They get one every night after dinner. Their new obsession? Bubble bath. Lots and lots of bubbles. We went through my entire stash of adult bubble bath (that's been sitting in my cabinet for I don't even know how many years---shows how many baths I take, right?) within days. So, we naturally needed to buy more. Anyway, here are some pics from their first bubble bath up in Gig Harbor when they discovered just how fun they are. Jaxson loved putting the bubbles on his face--- he looked like Santa Claus at one point and had all of us busting up laughing.

This last set is from a couple weeks ago... and this scene has become somewhat of a new daily occurrence in our house. We have a small TV in the kitchen for the boys to watch some movies on and they LOVE it. I don't know what Jaxson was watching here (I think it might have been Space Jam) but he's just engrossed in it. They especially love the Veggie Tales sing along songs... I'm pretty sure Jayden almost has the opening song memorized. I find it comical to see him swaying side to side singing, "....tomatoes....squash smile... potatoes...produce aisle!". LOL

Just need to vent...

I've found myself just plain stressed and frustrated over the last couple of days about a number of things, but especially one central theme moreso than the others. Here are my woes as of late, starting with the more minor ones...

First, just minor things around our house keep going wrong. I cannot blame nesting for my anal behavior because I'm only 16 weeks, but my relatively Type A, neat freak attitube I cannot say the same for. First off, it just seems like our apartment is falling apart. The carpets are trashed because our apartments are just shitty so they use the cheapest carpet available, the walls are dirty because they used cheap paint that you can't even wipe with a wet rag without the paint coming off, the drywall and wood around the corners of the wall are cracking and falling off... we just had that fixed in addition to having them fix the shitty caulking job in the bathroom which caused water damage to the floorboards which then caused us to have a recurring silverfish infestation that we had pest control fix last week (don't even get me started on that fiasco and the unprofessional douchebag who tried to lock my MIL and one year old baby outside of the apartment without any warning...). Now our fridge is leaking, parts are breaking...and they won't give us a new fridge because it's a pain in the ass for them. Nevermind the fact we've lived with it for 3 years... Oh, and just when we thought we were done with pests? Ha, we're not. Now we have fleas. Our cat is indoors so we've never had a problem until now. They are eating my cat alive (who now has scabs all up his back), they are biting Jayden, and are now trying to hop on Jaxson which is making him scratch. So, this weekend we get to flea bomb our house and shampoo our carpet with Borax. Yay. Let me just say I will be so happy come February so I move out of this POS, ghetto apartment.

Second, I'm frustrated that I keep needing to take time off from work to cover for random crap. My boss is gracious enough, but it stresses me out because I always feel like I'm putting my job at risk. He says, "eh, life happens" but I often wonder if that's something he says to my face, but thinks otherwise. I could be overanalyzing, but it just makes me feel horrible.

Then yesterday, I went to Taco Bell to get free dinner. Last time I went there they screwed up my order royally and I complained so they said the next one was on the house. So, I went inside the store with Jayden and it took them 25 MINUTES to get my order!!! I thought with fast food there was an element of fast to it... heck, I've had faster service at Red Robin! Anyway, I'm standing at the front counter waiting to place my order and no one is there...mind you there are about 5 people standing in the kitchen area who can see me just waiting there. Not one person acknowledged me. I stood there for 5 minutes before someone came out...and the place was dead. There were maybe 2-3 other people eating in the restaurant and a couple in the drive thru. No lines inside. One employee is texting on his phone in the kitchen and the others were slowly making some food for the people in the drive thru. I explained my situation and that the manager told me my next meal was on the house and I gave them the voucher so she wrote my order down on a slip and gave it to the people in the kitchen.

Here's what I ordered:
2 regular Chicken burrito meal deals for the boys (comes with a drink & chips)
2 Chicken burritos with Lava Sauce (for Aaron)
and a #6-- 2 Chalupa meal (comes with 2 Chalupas, a crunchy taco, and a drink)

First she only handed me two drink cups when I was supposed to have 3. Then when they handed me the bag of food, here's what I ended up getting:
1 Chicken burrito meal deal
3 Chicken burritos with Lava Sauce
3 Chalupas-- no crunchy taco

So, she had to remake a crunchy taco and give me another bag of chips & another regular chicken burrito. And that was AFTER I'd waited 25 minutes...so I had to wait longer.

Oh, and while I was waiting, a patron who had been in the drive thru came inside to complain that they forgot a bunch of his order too--- which was what scored me the free meal to begin with because they forgot half my order the last time I came in. Seriously, what kind of people do they have working there that they can't even remember a simple order? They were screwing up left and right!! Ugh. If my family didn't like Taco Bell so much or if there was one closer to me, I'd just have left. I was royally irritated.

In addition I hadn't been feeling good all day thanks to the pregnancy. I'd been nauseous, had heartburn, and a headache all day long. Well, then apparently the Taco Bell didn't help matters because I ended up puking my guts out all night long... and this is where I really started to get irritated.

Aaron must be missing a compassionate bone... or several. Because when I said how I'd been puking his only comment to me was, "Well at least now you know how other pregnant women feel...". Yeah, because that's just what your wife wants to hear when she's barfing. After that, I crawled up on the couch trying to rest in between puking and he kept asking me questions when I just wanted to be left alone. "Can I do this? "Can I do that?" "Where is the remote?". My response? "I feel like crap right now and I really don't care." So what does he say, "I'm sorry you feel like crap, but do you need to be so mean to me?".

So I'm mean because I told him I don't care? Oh, and then today I asked him if we could hire a doula for this birth. We are on a budget so I'm specifically looking for a student doula because a lot of them have to do 3 free births towards their certification so I'd be getting my doula and it wouldn't impact our budget. When he asked why I wanted a doula I was honest with him. I told him that I didn't feel like I had gotten the level of support I really needed during my pregnancy, labor, and delivery with the boys. Some dads/husbands are really hands-on and involved in every aspect-- they are excited, eager to learn, etc. Mine is not... at all. He slept through the majority of both my labors while I labored with my mom (who is not natural birth minded), he didn't study the Hypnobabies material with Jaxson that he said he would read for weeks (I finally got discouraged and put it away after it sat on our table, untouched for over a month), and he even (according to my mom) was playing video games with his brother in our living room as we were trying to get ready to leave for the hospital when Jaxson was born. When I wrote him that e-mail about why I wanted a doula, and I told him I wasn't trying to be mean to him but I did want to be honest about how I felt, his only comment to me was this: "Well, that e-mail was the equivalent of beating my self-esteem with a bat". Really? I just told you how you've made me feel for the duration of my pregnancies and the only thing you can say is centered around you?? No, "Well, I'm sorry that I've made you feel that way. It wasn't my intention."??

This is one thing that really bugs me about my husband. I say something honestly and I do it in a way so he will hopefully not take it personally, but he always turns on the defensive and makes it into something about him. He's so concerned with himself and his feelings that he doesn't consider the feelings of those around him. I tell him I feel like crap--- he yells at me for "being mean" to him with some half-ass, sympathetic "apology". He asks me why I'd like a doula, I tell him it's because I've felt really unsupported by him when I really needed him--- and he's most concerned about his self-esteem?? I'm not asking that all attention be on me... but I know if the roles were reversed, I'd feel bad that I'd made him feel that way and I'd apologize. Or if he was sick, I'd ask him if there was anything I could do to help him. Maybe it's a difference in personalities? I don't know, but I don't think he's aware of truly how self-centered a lot of his comments are.

I love my husband and I know he means well, and for a lot of guys this is a similar, recurring theme. It's hard for them to connect and understand pregnancy like us women do because they don't experience it the way we do on a daily basis. It's hard for them to connect to something they cannot see or feel. I get that, really I do. But that doesn't mean that I don't wish that he was more understanding or compassionate or involved. There are a lot of moments where I really do feel like I'm going through this all alone. And it doesn't help when I hear things from people that he's said things like, "Oh, I'm just along for the ride...". Really? What are you riding? Because I feel like I'm on a nonstop roller coaster. I didn't just jump on top of myself and get pregnant. I'm not in this by myself and nor do I want to be. This isn't something that you just skate through while your wife takes the brunt of it. It's supposed to be a shared experience, and I wish he would share it with me.

And lastly... I feel like he just doesn't listen. I asked him if he could buy some groceries for the next couple days until we get paid so that there's stuff for lunches and dinners for the kids... so he buys lunchmeat, a loaf of bread, some fruit, and a thing of eggs. No butter, no cheese, no "meals". Ugh. And I've also asked him to help me get the kids ready in the morning because he only gets himself ready for work and then leaves...and leaves me to get Jayden ready while I get ready and try to deal with Jaxson until Nana Joan shows up. I end up running late getting out the door which means I don't get Jayden to daycare by 8:00 which then means that they don't serve him breakfast, so I have to stop at McDonald's to get him breakfast, which then makes me late to work. Rinse and repeat....like 2-3 times a week. I get so stressed and overwhelmed and me talking to him apparently does nothing.

Ugh, there are just some days I just want to slam my head into a wall, and the last 24 hours have been just that. :(

Summer Fun

So I usually do a "Wordless Week" and, to be honest, I've just been so busy this month that I'm not going to get around to it. I do have pictures to share, but they just can't go without description... so it will be like a week in pictures, just not exactly wordless.

This first set is from an earlier trip in late July to visit Nana Joan and other family while we were up in Gig Harbor. We stayed there for the weekend and the weather was just beautiful!! Nana Joan set up the sprinkler in the yard which both boys ran away from (which is ironic as they love water), ate berries, and enjoyed the sunshine. Then we finished up with an impromptu early birthday dinner for me at Judi and Larry's before heading home. Jayden and Jaxson LOVED riding the little bike things (what do you even call those things anyway??) in the driveway.

I'll post more picture updates throughout the week as my work level allows. Enjoy!!

Still here, just busy!!

I'm still here, but it's been a crazy week to say the least. There's a lot going on in the Andresen household as of late.

I worked from home last week and the connection from my work computer to my home computer is ridiculously slow, so I really didn't find an opportunity to blog from home while I was working and now that I'm physically back in the office, it's a bit crazy since I'm playing catch up.

Then on Saturday night around 10 or 10:30 we stopped in Edmonds/Shoreline area to get gas because we didn't have quite enough to get home. We powered down the car to pump gas and then when I went to turn it back on it wouldn't start. The lights and radio still worked so I thought we had enough power to be jump-started... that didn't work. Then someone tried to check our starter, but still nothing. Ah, nothing like being stranded at a random gas station 10 miles from home late at night with your two very tired, screaming young children while you are pregnant. Luckily, we were able to park our car overnight and have it towed the next morning to a shop and my mom was gracious enough to lend me the use of her car until last night. I just picked the car up today and it's running fantastic!! After all that, it was determined it was the battery but it was originally going to cost us close to $300 for the repairs because our car requires a "special" battery. I was able to negotiate the price of the work done, so it didn't cost us as much as we thought. Now we get to just turn around and trade it in for a minivan in about 2 months, so yay for us.

In addition to the new expense of a car, we are currently looking into the possibility of buying a home within the next 6 months. We need a bigger place as it is with having another child and with some of the rent prices in the area it might not make sense to continue renting. Aaron and I together make a good amount of money that could easily support a mortgage payment if we are smart about our options. There are a lot of great deals out there with low interest rates and programs/options for first time home buyers, etc. Plus, from what I've heard they have extended the $8000 home buyers credit for now, so it would be a good time to take advantage of the buyers' market. I have a feeling that if we buy now, we could end up getting a better deal in the long run versus waiting 3 more years to pay off what debt we have before getting into a house. If we did buy and got the $8000 credit, on top of the credits we would get from our income and having our kids, etc, we could easily pay off BOTH of our credit cards and my remaining student loan, as well as any miscellaneous medical bills we might have. That would only leave us with a small car payment, a mortgage, daycare (which might be next to nothing if Aaron's mom would watch the kids for us---or at least the 2 younger ones), and our cell phones.

We didn't really think that this was an option for us, but after talking to quite a few people who are in similar situations as us, it's possible to find something within our price range and still afford to live. Money might be tight but it would be doable. So, I will be calling around to some lenders to see what we would even qualify for before we jump into a home search.

Keep your fingers crossed for us!