Every birth is important and special in its own way, but the birth of my firstborn is something I reflect on heavily. I remember like yesterday how significant this moment was for me. How long I had waited for this day...all my dreams from childhood about becoming a mom, playing pretend with my dollies, and how I had anticipated what this day would really be like for me. Everything just culminating from a dream into reality. I was excited, nervous, probably screaming for pain relief and praying that they would admit me to the hospital this time instead of sending me home like they'd done once before. I was ready. I wanted to meet my baby. I'd spent the last 40 weeks and 4 days nurturing my unborn child in my womb, feeling his kicks & hiccups; connecting to him in ways I'd previously thought impossible to experience. This was finally my moment. And in just a few short hours, I'd get the chance to nurture him on the outside, to see his precious face and comb over every detail: Did he look like me or Aaron? How big would he be at birth? Did he have all ten fingers and ten toes?
At 5:51pm on December 8, 2007, three years ago today, I laid eyes on my son for the first time. I remember the feeling of reaching down to help my doctor deliver him and lay him-- warm, wet, and screaming-- on my bare chest. I remember kissing the top of his cute blond-fuzzed head, happy tears streaming down my cheeks, telling him how much I loved him and just how handsome he was. I remember his big blue eyes staring back into mine like he knew in that instant that I was his mother. That moment could have lasted forever... and in ways it still does. I still remember exactly how I felt. I remember the first words out of my mouth as I first touched and held him. I remember the newborn baby smell. I still feel the warmth from his body clutched against mine & my lips firmly placed on his cute baby cheeks.
Three years. Three. I will never forget this moment... My first picture as a mother. My first picture holding my precious son. Just looking at this picture and reliving the pride, joy, & love I felt brings tears to my eyes.
I also remember this moment: bringing our new baby home for the first time. I remember the desire & impulse to buy that baby outfit with Aaron while we were in college because I couldn't get over how cute it was. I just held onto it for when we'd have a baby to put it on and thought of how adorable my baby would look in it... and cute he was (and still is). I remember how he snuggled quietly in my arms until the exact moment I placed him in the bassinet to take his newborn pictures and then he screamed and cried from being put down and having lights flash in his face. Not that I blame him...
Over the years it has been such a joy to watch him learn and grow. It's amazing to me to think that, in what seems like the blink of an eye, he's gone from a newborn to an independent toddler. He's my all boy, rough & tough, motorcycle-loving, pretend superhero who is currently scared of the dark and has to "hide" from the monsters under the covers. A textbook Daddy's Boy who still reserves Mom for special occasions like when he's sick or wants big hugs & eskimo kisses at bedtime and who likes to blow raspberries on and talk to his "Baby Owen" growing in my belly. The same boy who likes to inspire his younger brother to run around the house naked with him while having Nerf sword fights and jumping off couches. From the days of singing sweet lullabies like "You Are My Sunshine" while rocking him, often staring at him in his peaceful slumber with a smile on my face to reading "Pout Pout Fish" and alphabet books before tucking him in to his sports themed "big boy" bed. So much has changed in three short years and I know that so much more will change in three more.
From his first birthday...
...to his second...
...and now his third.
Three years old. Three. So hard to believe. My ever so handsome baby boy growing up before my eyes so fast that I have to constantly remind myself to stop and cherish each moment so I don't forget.
Happy 3rd Birthday, Jayden Ezra. You don't even know how much love & joy you have brought to my life-- how much more meaning you have given my existence. I'm so glad that God knows best and blessed me with the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity of being your Mother. I am so proud of the big boy you are becoming and I am excited to continue watching you grow. No matter how big you get, though, you will always hold my heart and you will always be my beautiful blue-eyed "Punky" baby-- my firstborn child, my firstborn son. It's truly a place that can't be replaced by anyone. Thank you for making dreams come true that I never knew existed.
I love you to the moon and back...
what a sweet post Shannon!
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