1) "Boob Man, No More": After many futile attempts to keep my breast milk up for Jaxson, I'm sad to say that my breastfeeding days are over. :( I've tried Fenugreek, Mother's Milk tea, pumping...everything! Jaxson just didn't want to nurse. He only uses the breast for comfort purposes and those are sparingly at best. Other than those few and brief moments, he pretty much refused the breast altogether. I'd pump for him as much as I could and give him the breast milk through his bottle, but I still needed to supplement with formula because I couldn't produce enough at each feeding. At this point I'm still lactating a little, but I suspect that my milk will be dried up by the end of the week. I'm not sure how I feel about all of this. On one hand, I'm happy with the fact that I was able to breastfeed him for 5 months because I was only able to breastfeed Jayden for 2 months, so I made it 3 months longer. I didn't feel nearly as guilty weaning Jayden as I do with Jaxson. The only thing I can guess is that maybe it's because this time it wasn't my choice to wean? I WANTED to breastfeed... not saying that I didn't want to with Jayden, but I think I rationalized it differently once I went back to work and I was okay with switching him. Since I had supply issues with Jayden I felt better knowing that (with formula) he was at least getting adequate nutrition as I consistently couldn't provide enough milk for him...and formula was better than starving my child. You'd think I'd be more proud and have a bigger sense of accomplishment for lasting longer with Jaxson, which I do, but I also feel a bigger sense of failure. I feel like I'm less of a mother because I couldn't provide for him. In my heart of hearts I know that it's completely bogus to think that, but there is so much pressure to breastfeed children these days and I was so proud to be breastfeeding especially while working full time-- let me tell you that both of those things combined come with quite the demands. It's hard to be everything and everyone I'm expected to be. So many shoes to fill and roles to play. Maybe it's just my pride that's wounded, I don't know. Jaxson doesn't seem to mind in the least that he's on formula...as long as he's getting fed when he's hungry he doesn't care. So why should I? Each day is a little baby step. I'm doing okay, but I'm having a harder time coming to grips with this "decision" than I expected. Oh well, at least I'll get another shot at it once we have baby #3, right?
2) "Puree Master!": Onto more positive updates, I bought A TON of fruits and veggies to make my purees since I want to start cooking more and eating healthier. I want to establish good eating habits for my kids, which should start when they are young...and start with the parents. Aaron and I have always been notorious for skipping the veggies even since we were kids and we don't want our kids to be picky growing up like we were, so it's a learning experience for all of us. I stocked my fridge full of the following purees over the last week: carrot, banana, spinach, avocado, chickpea, & cauliflower. I want to go and buy some berries, peas, cantaloupe, sweet potatoes, squash, and beets as well to make more purees. I had my sister's two youngest kids over on Sunday so my sister and brother in law could watch the Seahawks game and so I decided to test out my new purees and new cookbook ("Deceptively Delicious" by Jessica Seinfeld) on the target audience: picky eaters (especially kids!). So, I made "Applesauce Muffins". They are made with oats, applesauce, and carrot puree as well as a streusel topping made from oats, brown sugar, and cinnamon. I gave each child a half a muffin with their lunch and all 3 kids ate their muffins! Trevan, my 5 year old nephew who is an EXTREMELY picky eater, said to me, "Auntie, this muffin is so good! I can't stop eating it!". Muahahaha...and he had no idea that there were vegetables (gasp!!) in it! I think he had 3 muffins that day, my niece had 2, and Jayden ate 3. I gave one to my sister, Aaron had one as well, and I ate the remaining two. A whole dozen GONE within hours! I'd say it's a success so far...so much so that I've convinced at least 3-4 family members or friends to go and get the book just for their families/kids. Tonight I think I'm going to try my hand at macaroni and cheese and then some peanut butter banana muffins. :) Oh, and the nice thing about these purees is that whatever I don't use for my DD recipes I can use as organic baby food for Jaxson. Two birds with one stone. :)
3) "Baby Weight Be Gone!": I've had a really hard time losing the last 10 pounds of baby weight, but because of my healthier eating habits I've lost 3 pounds this month!! I'm down to 170, which is still 10 pounds away from my goal for this month, but I'm glad that I'm making some progress. I don't work out, but I hardly think I live a sedentary lifestyle with two young kids... As my boys get a little older, I will probably start hitting the gym a couple nights a week and leave the kids with Aaron. Our apartment complex has a pool and I love to swim laps, so I will probably start there. My goal for the end of the year is between 140-145 so I have at least another 25 pounds to lose in 3.5 months. It's going to be tough since I've always struggled to lose weight even when I was vigorously working out on a regular basis, but we will see.
4) "Juice Lockdown": Jayden was going through a phase where all he wanted was his juice. Everything was, "Joo! Pee Mama!". Luckily it seems to be only just that: a phase. He's back to primarily drinking milk, with juice on occasion. We let him have it once a day if he wants it, and it's usually diluted quite a bit with water when he does have it. Other than that, he eats pretty healthy stuff. We try not to keep overly unhealthy food in our house. His favorite foods are: Cheerios, peanut butter, rice, berries, yogurt, oatmeal, and applesauce. If he gets dessert, it's usually sugar free Jello or sugar free pudding.
5) "Still In Progress...": Aaron and I are still working on the whole exercise thing. It's hard with 2 kids though. Aaron's brother and sister-in-law are currently trying this new program called P390X (or something like that). It's a 90 day program with healthy recipes and exercises. They might let us borrow that if it works for them. In the meantime, I'm going to try to go swim laps a couple days a week. Our only other resolution still in progress is eating together as a family. It'll be better once we have more space. Currently our living room/dining room is too small to accommodate our furniture in an arrangement that would allow us all to sit at the table, so we are at least settling for trying to eat in the same room. Once the kids are older and we have a bigger dining room, this should fall into place quite easily.
In other non-resolution updates, Aaron had another job interview yesterday. It was actually for a placement agency for a project management contract position, but the pay is good and there's a possibility for future permanent employment. The contract is only for 4 months, but at this point we will take almost anything just to get Aaron working again. Aaron said the interview went well and that the gentleman he interviewed with told him that out of 50 resumes, Aaron's was by far the best and that he was going to recommend him to the hiring manager of the company he'd be contracted to. We should hopefully know by the end of the week whether or not they will give Aaron the job, so fingers crossed!!
In all other news, everything is great on the Andresen family front! The boys are growing, bigger, stronger, cuter, and sweeter by the day. They continue to amaze me and melt my heart. I just love them. :) Jayden is swiftly making the transition from baby to toddler to young boy. It both saddens me and excites me at the changes he makes...I'm so proud of him, but I cannot believe how quickly he's growing! He's not my "baby" anymore. :( Jaxson is as sweet as ever and I love how much of a "Mama's Boy" he is. His face lights up when I get home from work and he wants to be with me all night long. :) He's learning new things too...like how to scoot and he's desperately trying to sit up (which he can do with assistance, of course) and he's always grabbing at everything. Everything fascinates him and he wants to touch it... you can see the wheels turning and see him analyzing everything around him. He's like a sponge!
Well, it's back to work for me as my lunch hour is over. Have a happy "hump day"! Only 2 more work days until the weekend!
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