Clean Slate

I have to say that I've been a bad dieter during the month of February. Birthdays and Valentine's Day completely derailed me, but I'm bouncing back from a bad month and hoping that March will be better. It's a fresh start and I'm starting with a clean slate. I ended up gaining 2 pounds back during the last month, so now to meet my March goals I have to lose 8 pounds. I have just under 5 weeks to lose that weight (and hopefully more). I have two new things in the works ( but I need to wait until I get my tax return back before I can take advantage of them) so my March & April challenges will be to start doing hot yoga 2x a week and combining that with the "Flat Belly Diet".

My issue has always come down to the lack of time and finances. It's really hard for me to stick with a lot of diets & lifestyle changes because I don't have a lot of time to keep up with a vigorous exercise schedule or cooking home-cooked meals every night and I don't have the money to fork out on a lot of the "healthier" food choices. I'm limited to quick fixes and cheap, fast meals to help me lose the weight...which doesn't help me stay on track. With working a full-time job and then coming home to two children, a husband, and a house to clean, there's not a lot of time added in for me to really take care of myself. So I've struggled to find something that will fit into my busy lifestyle that yields results without overwhelming me completely, both physically and emotionally.

So I guess that I'm really still researching my options and testing through trial and error until I can find something that just works--- that just fits who I am and the life I live while still giving me the advantages of losing the weight, keeping it off, and continuing healthy eating and exercise habits. Sure, I could go to the gym after work every night but then I would sacrifice time with my kids. I don't see them that much as it is since I work all day and they are in bed just 3 hours after I get home. I don't want to be a "weekend mom". This is where staying at home with my kids would come in handy. I'd have time every day to play with my kids, clean my house, work out, cook healthy meals, and still have some time to relax with my husband or by myself once the kids are in bed. Don't get me wrong...I love my job but, as empowering as it can be to be a working woman, I still feel like I'm missing out. There isn't enough time in the day for me to take care of everything that needs to be done. I'm just horribly overwhelmed every day. I'm tired of feeling like I'm busy all the time. I know that being a SAHM can be busy and taxing (it still is work!!) but it's so different being able to "work" in your own home and have the freedom to do things you cannot do when you are tied to a desk in an office.

Anyway, I'm starting to get off subject but my point is just simply that I need to find something that is adaptable to my lifestyle as there are certain things about my life I cannot change like the fact I work full time away from the home and that I am responsible for caring for two children, my husband, and maintaining our home. Not to discount my husband (because he does help), but I do most of the work around the house and am currently the only one with a job right now so I feel like lately I've been carrying a lot of the burdens. While he does help, I do think it's far from equal (and I can't really explain it to him because he either doesn't care enough or just plain doesn't understand). There's a lot of responsibility and pressure that comes with being a working woman, mother, and wife. It's hard to fit in to both stereotypes of "corporate woman" and "domestic goddess" and find additional time to be a "health nut". It's exhausting trying to keep up with all the demands.

Either way, I am looking forward to finding something that is easy for me to stick with given the complexity and chaos of my life while making me feel good about myself. Right now I feel terribly tired, overwhelmed, fat, and ugly. And it sucks.