Resolution

Ok, so I've been debating some issues regarding nutrition in our house for weeks and I've finally had it. I figured out that I just need to make a decision and find a plan that works...and stick with it. I've been going back and forth about a lot of things, but after I had my WIC appointment today I really felt compelled and rejuvenated enough to make a conscious effort for some good changes in our eating habits.

First off, Jax has not really wanted to nurse lately. As it is, he's bottle-fed during the day since I work, but even with me pumping breast milk twice daily at work, I'm still unable to keep up with his demands and we've subsequently had to supplement with some formula. To be honest, I would much rather my son be strictly breast-fed. Not that I'm averse to formula (Jayden was formula fed from 8 weeks old), but there's just a huge part of me that just feels the natural biological urge to nourish and nurture my kids that way. When I get home from work and during the night I nurse Jaxson. However, lately he has been getting angry when I offer the breast. He's arching his back, screaming almost as if he's trying to say "get that thing the hell away from me!!". I have to admit that I've been horribly frustrated and discouraged. Not to mention I'm getting over having a bout of mastitis which got infected. So who knows...maybe the antibiotics are making my milk taste funny or maybe it's because he's teething and cranky. The list of "could be's" goes on and on. Frankly, I've been so irritated about the whole situation that I've been tempted to toss in the towel on breastfeeding. It's been a constant struggle with my mind...and I keep fighting back because I WANT my baby to be breast-fed. At the same time and on the other hand, I want him to be happy...so if he doesn't want it, then so be it. As long as he's happy and healthy and getting the nutrients he needs then it shouldn't matter, right? Regardless, I've decided that I still want to breastfeed and I'm going to try everything I can to keep my supply up. Even if he won't nurse I can at least pump so that he can drink strictly breast milk whether it's from a bottle or the breast. That's step one. I want to try to completely wean him off of formula. If I can accomplish step one, then step two would be to get him back to nursing exclusively when I'm with him... no bottles. Because pumping just to feed him a bottle is time-consuming and a royal pain. We will see what happens...

Second, I want to develop better eating habits with my family. I've always made excuses as to why I don't cook. "I'm too tired", "There's not enough time", or "Eating healthy is so expensive" are the top ones on the list. One of my favorite things growing up was always having home-cooked, healthy meals made by my dad. I recently acquired a copy of Jessica Seinfeld's book, "Deceptively Delicious" and it really made me think that I could make healthy and quick meals for my family. Plus, I LOVE to cook and bake. In fact, I love it so much that I originally went to school so that I could start my own catering business or bakery. So, under this new "healthy eating" shtick, I've decided:

1. I'm going to start making my own organic baby food for Jaxson

2. I'm going to start making more home-cooked meals for my family (even if it only starts out as once or twice a week--- it's better than eating boxed meals practically all week)

3. I'm going to limit Jayden's juice intake. That kid seriously drinks way too much "nunu" or "joo" as he calls it. I don't want him to struggle with obesity or constantly be in the dentist's office with cavities. He needs more milk than what he gets.

4. I'm going to start making dinner time "family time". We almost never all sit down at the table together as a family to eat. Aaron is usually eating in front of the computer while Jayden's in his highchair and I'm sitting in the living room chair eating as I nurse Jax. I want to instill good family eating habits and I think it's best to start early while the kids are young. I don't want to be the family that pulls up TV trays in the living room to eat while watching TV.

5. Also, I want to start exercising more with (or without) the kids. I'd like for us to be an active family who likes to do things outdoors. So many people these days live sedentary lifestyles where their kids are babysat by the TV. I don't want that to be me or my family. I want to be healthy and keep my kids healthy too.

So, here goes nothing!! If anyone has any helpful tips, please feel free to share!
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On a side note, everything is going well with both kids. Jaxson had his 4 month check up last Tuesday and he is growing big and strong. His stats are:

14 pounds, 7 ounces
25 inches long

He's still on the smaller side of the percentiles but I have faith that he will catch up to his big brother in time...or he may just be a smaller kid. Who knows? Most important fact is that he's happy and healthy and, frankly, that's all that matters. He, along with his big brother, lights up my world. :)

In Aaron news: We still haven't heard anything back about his job situation. He had a phone interview with Cobalt on 8/17 and they told him that he should hear back by the end of the week, which should have been last Friday. Alas, he still hasn't heard anything, but he was told that apparently their HR department is running behind because some people are out of the office. Hopefully their news is just delayed because I'd personally find it rather unprofessional for a company to not contact a candidate either way. It's rude to leave people hanging, you know? Also, he got a call from his old company (well, the new company that took over control of the company he used to work for) and they wanted him to come in for an interview so he went in last Tuesday. He was honest with them that the two big components for him were the commute and pay. He doesn't want to work so late that he doesn't get to see the boys at night, so he'd want flexible hours. We honestly don't think he'll get the job and, to be honest, don't really want him to (as much as we would both like to have him working) just for the fact that our family comes first and, if he worked there, we wouldn't be seeing much of him. In any case it's a backup. Also, he received an email from a representative at Speakeasy who wants to set up a phone interview with him, so hopefully this will open some doors as well. It seems that things may be looking up in Aaron's job search. Fingers are crossed!! I have faith that a job offer is not too far off in Aaron's future.

Also, please keep Aaron in your thoughts and prayers. Lately he's been having issues with his lymph nodes and his back. He's been to a specialist twice and he had a CT scan done of his neck yesterday. At his follow-up appointment today the specialist told him that there's a 10% chance that he could have cancer (lymphoma). While I have faith that things are going to be just fine, Aaron is very upset. He's a hypochondriac by nature and is constantly worried about his health so for him to hear anything with his name and cancer in the same sentence no matter what the odds are isn't a great thing for him. He goes in for surgery next Friday to have his lymph node taken out. They will do a biopsy on it to find out if it's cancerous and then we will go from there. Please pray for peace of mind for Aaron... I try my hardest to keep him positive by looking at the bright side of things, however he and I have completely different mindsets so it makes it difficult for him to see it from my point of view and try not to worry. Obviously we would love for it to be completely benign, but I put my trust and faith in God, so whatever will be will be. I'll keep you posted.

Have a great Tuesday!