Halloween and the Pumpkin Farm

Here are some pictures from our trip to Stocker Farms back in October for our pumpkins. We went with my mom, sister, and her family. It was really fun...and cold!! They had a pumpkin cannon, bouncy house, fishing, a corn box (which Jayden refused to leave---he loved that thing!), a human hamster wheel, and a tractor ride. We wanted to do the hay maze but just didn't have time with all the cranky kids.

Here was our Halloween. We didn't do anything exciting, just went around Alderwood Mall to the stores where they were giving out candy and then got some dinner with Aaron's brother, Tommy, our sister in law, Samantha, and their 20 month old (at the time) Brayden.

Up next (I think...) will be a recap from our Thanksgiving. I'm slowly but surely getting through my pictures. I also have some from Jayden's birthday party on Saturday to upload. His party turned out GREAT and I'm so excited to share pictures from his party with you. But it's time for me to leave work for the day and go say hello to both of my beautiful boys!!

Months in the life of the Andresen Boys!

Picture-mania 2 begins today!! I finally updated everything on my camera and got it uploaded to the computer so I thought I'd post a couple things while I'm on my break from work. Here are some random pictures of the boys throughout the last few months...

Jayden:

Jaxson:

Here are some of both boys together. I just love these guys!!! They are so sweet and loving to each other... I swear that they are going to be the best of friends as they grow up. I know that boys will be boys and there will be many brother-on-brother fights, but in the end I think that they are going to be closer than ever. The bond they have already (even with being so young) is strong and I just love watching them interact with each other. It's the cutest and sweetest thing ever! Enjoy...

More Picture-mania to come (even if it takes me all week to do it...)! :) Happy Friday!

Happy Birthday Jayden!!

Two years ago today, at 5:51pm, I became a mom for the very first time. After what seemed like endless months of anticipation, 17.5 hours of labor, and 35 minutes of pushing, my beautiful 8 pound & 6 ounce, 19.8 inches long, blond-haired, blue-eyed baby boy arrived. It seems crazy to me to think that it's already been two years that he's been with us, but I still remember it like yesterday. I remember snuggling with all of his newly-born goodness skin-to-skin, kissing his head, and crying the most happy tears I've cried in my life (until that point anyway). It's a day I will always remember and I will always cherish.

Now he's a precocious, active, but sweet and loving two year old boy. He amazes me everyday with how he learns and grows. Sure, there are times that it's crazy and hectic and I catch myself thinking "What the heck am I getting myself into??!!", but even in the chaos of raising a toddler there is such a sweet innocence that drowns everything else out (including the tantrums! :)). What I realize at the end of the day is that I love him more than anything else in this world (well, he and his baby brother are in a two way tie I guess). I feel so blessed and so lucky to be a mother to such a wonderful son. He has brought me so much joy in the last two years and I know that there will be many, many more years to come.

So today is all about celebrating my sweet son, Jayden. He's been in my every thought today, even more so than he is everyday.


Jayden,
Mommy loves you so much and I'm so proud of who you have become in the two short years that you've been here with us and I look forward to watching you grow bigger and stronger each and every year. You have a special place in my heart that will always be yours forever... May your life bring you as much joy as you have brought into mine. I'm thinking of you today and always and thanking God for allowing me the opportunity to be your Mommy. Today is your special day and I promise to share in it and cherish it with you. Happy 2nd Birthday, my Punky boy. You are the greatest gift anyone could ever ask for...and that is something worth celebrating.
I love you forever and always,
Mama


HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAYDEN EZRA!!! :) Praise be to God for today is a great day! Your birth is something always worth celebrating.

December 8, 2007 (First picture with Mom-- newborn)

December 8, 2008 (First birthday!)

December 8, 2009 (2 years old)

2 Years & 8 Months

Wow! It's been like 2 weeks since I last posted! I honestly meant to post sooner than that but life has just been absolutely hectic. Work is crazy with all the "year end" projects that we have going on that I'm doing administrative coordinating for, plus we have birthdays, Christmas, and all the other fun holiday stuff... not to mention the daily acrobatics of having two children under two. And a husband. My days are jam packed to say the least. I barely have a minute to get up from my desk to do simple things like eat lunch or go pee, let alone blog about anything. But, I was good and got my tasks done for now, so I can breathe easier for a bit and take a second to update on my oh-so-busy life.

First up: Jaxson turned 8 months old on Saturday and is just amazing me every day. He finally got his two top teeth so now he's got 4 total. I took him to the doctor about a week ago for his constipation issue. The Miralax seems to be helping, but we have to continue on a strict regime and make sure he poops every 2 days. So now I have a nifty little chart to track his bowel movements...so exciting, huh? He also dropped a bit in weight, so he has to go in on the 21st for a weight check. We are trying to increase his diet to include more fiber/grains, fruit, and veggies. Anything to keep him regular. He hasn't gone #2 since Friday, so hopefully he'll go today. In addition to all that jazz, he got the H1N1 flu shot. Yay for Jax. :)

Second, my big boy Jayden turns 2 tomorrow!!! I cannot believe that he's 2 years old already. It seems like just yesterday I held him for the very first time. In two years, he's grown into such a sweet boy (minus those typical 2-year-old tantrums and all) and I feel so blessed to be his Mommy. We have his birthday party on Saturday and I'm so excited for all the fun we will have. I'm hoping that he will actually enjoy opening his presents this year. We are doing a "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" theme this year and I think he's going to love it... I'm probably more stoked than he is! We will be switching him into a big boy bed hopefully this weekend if we can get his bed from Grandma Joan's house. He's starting to try climbing out of his crib and he's able to get his leg over the top rail even with the mattress at the lowest setting, so we are going to try the bed and see how it goes. Also, he has his doctor's appointment tomorrow for his 2 year checkup so we get to see just how big he really is!! :) I'll post with stats for both boys once I have them.

Other family news...we had a great Thanksgiving! We were originally going to see my dad's family in Spokane, but Aaron and I just couldn't afford to go over there because of the gas prices with planning on the Christmas holiday and Jayden's party. So we opted to see my dad's family in the summer when we have more money and the weather is better, and instead go to my aunt and uncle's house. It was pretty low key and we had a fun time eating great food, enjoying wonderful company, and we even played Spoons! It's a Farley family tradition. :)

Not much else has been going on. The whole weight loss thing has sort of not been panning out as I'd hoped. I think I'll feel a lot more motivated once my Zumba DVD's get here and I'm not constantly tempted by the holidays anymore. My plan is to be back down to about 150 before Aaron and I start trying for baby #3 in a year. We'll see how it goes... I've always had a really hard time losing weight so I know it's not going to be an easy battle for me to win.

My sister-in-law, Sharon, had her baby on Saturday, November 28th. I don't have too many specifics on him other than his name is Kaleb (not even sure of his middle name) and he was born aroun 6:00pm. He was 7 pounds, 9 ounces, and around 19.5 inches (I think...). Congrats to Sharon, Ted, and big brothers Isaac and Jonas! I've seen some pictures of him and he's absolutely adorable!!!

Also, I finally found my USB cable for my camera. My silly husband put it in with all of his computer and video game cables because it looked similar, so now that I have it back I'm going to try and upload some pictures and do a fall edition pictures post (or posts knowing how many pictures I have) so stay on the lookout for those. :)

Happy December to everyone...and Happy Holidays as well!

Nope. Not MY family...

Not Me! Monday is a weekly blog carnival started by MckMama that I occasionally take part in where you can share your embarrassing stories, many of which you probably would never like to admit to. I find it refreshing to know that everyone is human and I'm definitely not alone in the everyday craziness of life. Honesty is the best policy...and why not have some fun with it? So here are some things that I (and my family) most definitely do not do...

1. Echoing MckMama's theme for this week (which was a great one!) reminded me of one of the things I definitely do not do. That would be leaving huge piles of clean clothes in my already cramped bedroom. There's no way that I can only manage to get the laundry cleaned and dried but never (or rarely) fold it and put it away. And I'd never ask my mother in law to help me do it... nope, never.

2. Also, I most definitely did not go off my diet at all this weekend when we were invited to a pre-Thanksgiving fete. Knowing full well that I want to lose another 25 pounds, there's no way that I gave in to my cravings and had not one, but two pieces of pumpkin pie. Or that slice of pumpkin cheesecake. And two slices of pizza on Saturday. Definitely not me...

3. My husband absolutely does NOT ever get sidetracked by his video games or ESPN, especially when we are trying to potty train our 23 month old. So, when Jayden did not tell Daddy he had to go #2 over the weekend, there's no way that my lovely husband thought he was kidding and then let him poop on our carpet instead of taking him to the toilet. Oh, and he definitely did not leave the poop on the carpet for me to clean up because he's absolutely not creeped out by the sight of human feces. Nope, not MY hubby...

...so what did you NOT do today? :)

Keeping Up With The Joneses

Ever heard that phrase? You know, the one that originated back in the 1950's ( I think) where one neighborhood family would always try to keep up with the other family... or "one-up" them? Well, seems to be a recurring theme in our life. I won't name names because I don't know who all actually reads my blog and I wouldn't want to start a war or anything, but it's become somewhat of a theme in our life. For the sake of this post, we will refer to these individuals as "Bobby" and "Susie" (pretty 1950's right?). Ok, so here goes nothing:

Over the past few years, Aaron and I have noticed that this whole "keeping up with our us" or "out-doing us" habits have been occurring and, frankly, it's just getting frustratimg. This isn't to say that Bobby and Susie are doing this intentionally as it could just be part of their personalities, nor is their behavior actually harmful in any way. However, it is extremely frustrating, somewhat childish, and sometimes demeaning. And that's enough to tire anyone out to the point of mental exhaustion. Sometimes we feel like the things we have or the things we achieve aren't good enough in comparison to what they have or what they achieve. Everything they have and everything they do is just "so much better".

Part of me understands that in a way it's up to me to change that thinking. And on one level I really could care less. The things we own do not determine our life's successes. I'm completely content with the things I have (okay, okay... so I would like a bigger house, or actually any house would be fine at this point because I detest our ghetto apartment even if it IS a roof over our heads, but that's besides the point...) and most importantly, I feel blessed to have the wonderful family and friends I have. Every mother thinks her child(ren) are the greatest ever, and I am definitely no different in that aspect. :) But on the flip side of that whole "caring" coin, there's also that part of me that is going mad because I really just want to tell Bobby and Susie to stop trying to size their lives up against mine and Aaron's. I DO care... not in the aspect that what I feel I have is inferior because I don't. What I have a problem with is the fact that it seems like Bobby and Susie feel it's necessary to try and make us feel like we are less...even if they are unaware that they do it.

Who gives a flying fart what kind of car you have or how much money you make? So what if you make more than us or your things are newer than ours? In the end, your life isn't measured nor is anyone really going to give a rat's behind about how big your computer is or that your kid learned how to crap in a toilet before mine.

Tthis is the kind of stuff we have been dealing with lately on what seems to be a regular basis. Petty, unimportant crap. And it's tiring feeling like this wonderful thing called life is being turned into a competitive sport...because, you know what?? I gladly forfeit because I'd much rather spend time raising my children, enjoying life, and creating a lasting legacy to leave behind when I'm no longer here than worrying about my every move and every possession being overshadowed. IT'S JUST NOT WORTH IT!!

Things from kids & birthday parties to we buy something, they buy the same thing (only bigger or better), engagements, weddings. Are we supposed to feel like crap because we did it different? Sometimes they poke their heads into private matters or share private things of theirs that Aaron and I would rather not know about. In regards to sex, I'll admit that especially with two young kids in the house and working full time I'm so tired by the end of the day that sex is often really far from my mind. Making more of an effort is something I'm working on, but is it really up to you to dictate my sex life and tell me I should be having more or less sex? Last time I checked I didn't ask for an intervention from a self-proclaimed Oprah and Dr. Phil. Things like I'll write a proud Mommy moment on Facebook of my child's latest accomplishment because I'm so happy & proud for my kids. Instead of a simple "Congrats!" or "That's awesome!" which would be sufficient, it seems they go above and beyond by saying, "My kid is doing the same thing too.... and he/she has been doing it x amount of times over the last x amount of days/weeks AND he/she can also already tie his/her shoes and say his/her ABC's backwards!! Isn't that great? Oh, but that's awesome about your kid by the way...".

I'm overexaggerating just a bit for theatrics, but you get the idea. I'm all about celebrating accomplishments but there's a line between gracious pride and what I'd consider as close to snobbery. And again, I'm very happy with what I have. I've always grown up with good morals and worked hard to get the things I have and want, so when I do I feel a great sense of accomplishment. I like working hard and reaping the rewards... it makes them so much more important and you are more grateful in the end I think. You learn to love what you have and take nothing for granted. I've gotten to where I am with little financial help at all, but tons of emotional and sometimes physical support from the great family and friends I do have. I just hate having people crap on the accomplishments Aaron and I have made because they need to feel superior, whether unintentional or not. It in no way makes me feel less about what I have...at the end of the day I'm in love more and more with my family. Aaron and I are young and have plenty of time to accumulate things throughout our life. We are just starting out and that's fine by me.

All the other things, the material things...the house and the "things" and "stuff" to fill it with will come as needed and the whole reason that Aaron and I don't have a lot of "stuff" is because we don't need it to feel content with our lives. We cherish the things that come without a price tag...and those are the things that go with us and get passed on to our family when we leave this world. And that's worth more than anything.

Part of it, too, is that I don't understand it. Is it just us or are they like this with other people? If not, why just us? It's not like Aaron and I are rich financially. We live within our means and we make a modest living. We really don't have anything extravagant. I might understand the desire more if we lived in a huge house with a pool out back, a shiny new Lexus in the driveway, and a flat screen in every room. But we don't. We live paycheck to paycheck, and especially so in this economy. Nothing to be jealous or envious of... at least nothing tangible anyway. I think we are rich in other ways, but those are the things that you cannot see or touch...only feel. They can't be bought on clearance at Best Buy.

Don't get me wrong... I really do like Bobby and Susie.They can be really fun people and I'm glad that we are family and we enjoy spending time with them, but there's just some times where a little bit of them goes a long way. And it's not like they do this all the time. However, it feels like they do it A LOT. And maybe I'm making it into a bigger deal than it is or I'm interpreting it in a completely different way then how they mean it. They could be sincere, but it just doesn't come across that way. I'm happy for them in the things they do. I'm more than willing to share in their joy, but it would be nice for them to also share in ours, if they choose to, without strings attached. No additions. Just be happy and leave it at that. When the sometimes selfish, competitive, overbearing nature comes out I just need to take a step back and that's why I come to the semi-secrecy of my blog to throw my tantrum and scream rather than to their faces. We've talked to them about this "competition" before but it's unlikely to change anything. They do what they want when they want to, and don't care if it affects anyone else but them. So Aaron and I suck it up, put up our pretenses and go about it because we do cherish our family and the relationships we have, and well...they are family. All I can do is hope that with time things will get better and this will all be a moot point. Otherwise I think I might go crazy and pull out my hair... and then they'll just brag about how they have more hair than me.

Happy Monday.

P.S. Oh and please... pray for me if and as you feel led. I could use God's grace to help me find the delicate balance in this situation. I want to be able to handle this situation with grace and to learn to not be upset so much by the actions of others. Part of it is that I let it bother me, but really I don't want it to. I wish it was as easy as turning off a switch.

Slow Transit Constipation

I know, I know... kind of a random and awkward title for a post, right? Well, ordinarily I wouldn't use such a graphic title, but it is a Monday and I'm sleep-deprived which means I have zero imagination or creativity at this point. So, cutting right to the chase, I just so aptly titled this post with the formal "diagnosis" I was given for Jaxson's latest medical issue.

Over the past few months, Jaxson has had major issues with constipation. With him being so young, we really didn't know what to do. At first we thought it was a couple random, isolated incidents, but once we realized that it was happening on a recurring basis we knew there was something we were missing. At first we thought that maybe it was just an "allergic" reaction of some sort. That maybe there was a certain food he couldn't process. So in an attempt to quell any future episodes, we postponed the introduction of new baby foods/baby cereal...in fact we cut it out altogether. Then we thought since that didn't fix it that maybe he was lactose intolerant since Aaron was (and apparently I found out that I was on soy formula as a baby too although I have no intolerances or allergies whatsoever). So we switched him to lactose-sensitive formula (and that didn't work) so we went to soy... still constipated.

We tried all the suggestions we were given: prune juice, Karo syrup, mineral oil, rubbing his belly, glycerin suppositories, apple juice, adding fruits and veggies to his diet, adding more fiber... and nothing. He's had at least 4 episodes in the last 3-ish months where he's not pooped for anywhere from 4-8 days. Then, once he finally does go he's so bloated, his belly is rock hard as are his stools, and he strains because he's in pain. And he's like that for at least 2 days while his body finally pushes out everything that's stuck in there. He doesn't sleep because he cries out in pain everytime he has to go because it burns and because the bowels are too hard and bigger than the place they have to come out. His bottom rashes, breaks out into sores, and bleeds from all the bowels and the acidity. He breaks out into a fever and becomes lethargic. And the worst part about it?? There's absolutely nothing I can do to make it better...and as a mom that's the WORST feeling ever knowing that your child is in pain and you are completely helpless to stop it.

I finally broke down and called the doctor on Friday after his latest episode. I told them, "I need answers". All these quick fixes and old wives' remedies were not working. My son can't poop and he's suffering and obviously something was missed since this happens at least once a month. It's not just something random and I need to do something, ANYTHING to help my kid so they told me to bring him in first thing Saturday morning to be seen. Luckily for Jaxson, the worst was over by then as he spent Friday pooping his brains out (and luckily this was a "minor" case compared to some of the others he's had) and by the time we saw the doctor he was on his way back to normal.

Doctor said that there's not much to be concerned about and he's seen this a fair amount over his 20+ years in the profession. He diagnosed Jaxson with "slow transit constipation" meaning his body has a tendency to be delayed in processing the contents of his diet through his bowels. We should expect him to have episodes in the future, but that we can help him by going back to the Karo syrup (which is apparently a natural "laxative"), but we have to use the organic, dark kind. We are supposed to put a tablespoon a day in his bottle and if that doesn't work then we need to switch to Miralax, which is an adult laxative that we can turn into a child's dose. We need to increase the grains in his diet (which has been a challenge because Jaxson is averse to eating baby food and baby cereal--- he'll eat "adult food" but he hates the texture of the jarred foods, even the organic ones I make) and stay away from certain foods like: bananas (one of Jaxson's favorites) and soy---so we have to switch his formula yet again.

So, basically he has to have a specialized diet and we need to watch him carefully. Dr. P said that it's quite possible that he will struggle with this for life---maybe not to this extent, but he will be more prone to being constipated than the average person. Where one person may become mildly constipated, Jaxson will more than likely have a more aggressive case. Some kids may grow out of it, so it's possible he could as well once his diet improves and he's introduced to more foods, but he will always want to stay away from the foods that are more likely to cause constipation at least until his problem is under control. Right now we are in a waiting period... I'm hoping that the Karo syrup (which was actually originally my mom's suggestion since she said she used it on us kids when we were stopped up---guess those old fashioned remedies aren't complete crap, huh?) will help with his problem now that we are using it on a daily basis. Guess it's just trial and error though. We won't really know until he has another episode.

All I know is that I really want my baby to be better. These last few months, moreso the last month, has been hell for Jaxson. Jayden's been sick too but Jaxson's had a rough time lately. Hopefully things will be looking up. Next step is to get more grains into his diet. I think I'm going to start making him oatmeal. The real stuff...not the baby crap. I have found out through all of this that he loves french fries, melon, gravy, Cheerios, and Ritz crackers though! :)

Please keep my baby in your thoughts and prayers that his episodes stay to a minimum. Seeing your child in duress is the worst... Fingers crossed that these new implementations work!!

Stats Galore!

So, I took all of Jaxson's 7 month measurements last night and here they are as follows:

Weight: 17 lbs. 6oz. (30%)
Length: 27.5 in. (65%)
Head circumference: 17 in. (20%)

He's still a little guy but it looks like he's going to be tall and skinny. He's still not as tall as his big brother was at this age. Overall it looks as though he grows taller each month faster than he's gaining weight.

As for me... this week has been both good and bad. I've done pretty well, but I can't say I haven't been tempted. Baby showers and Halloween have provided opportunities for me to go hog wild. I didn't completely deny myself, but I'm happy to say that I did moderate myself very well...and I'm still on the losing (or winning!) end... Here are my stats:

STARTING- mid October
Weight: 177 lbs.
Waist: 35 in.
BMI: 24.7

LAST WEEK- 10/29
Weight: 172 lbs.
Waist: 34 in.
BMI: 24.0

CURRENT- 11/6
Weight: 170 lbs. (-2 from last week, -7 total)
Waist: 34 in. (-0 from last week, -1 total)
BMI: 23.7 (-.3 from last week, -1 total)

Better than nothing... Can't complain even though I know I can do better! Now let's hope I make it through the holidays relatively unscathed. I can do it!! Aaron said he was going to buy me the Zumba DVD's since I love to dance...that way I can actually add some exercise to my routine without it being so mundane, repetitive, and boring. I'm excited!!

Oh, and I was going to upload some more recent pictures to share with all of you, but my USB cable magically grew legs and walked off, so hopefully I can find it and then share with you all our wonderful fall pictures.

Happy Friday!!

Happy 7 Months!!

Jaxson is 7 months old today!!! I haven't done his "official" stats yet, but I'll update when I do (barring I don't forget!!) I can't believe how quickly time is just flying by! It's crazy! Jaxson is learning so much. He's crawling now (and has been for about a month) but it's not your typical hands and knees crawl. He gets up on his hands and knees, but when he wants to actually start moving, he plops onto his belly and "slithers". Eh, he gets where he wants to go, so I guess that's really all that matters. :) His 2 newest things are babbling with "words" (he says "ah da da da!!" when he's either really happy or really upset) and pulling himself up/holding on to things standing. He can't get himself into a fully standing position without help, but he's trying!!!

Other than that, there's not much that's new around our house. We may be moving at the end of this month. Aaron's friend moved back from California and doesn't want to live at home with his parents, so we may all be getting a place together. We haven't decided for sure if we want to do this, but we are going to talk it over this weekend to find out for sure. We have to give our apartments notice by the 10th, so time's a wastin'!! So, I'm using the end of this month as a transition marker for both boys. Regardless of if we move or not, we are going to put Jayden in his big boy bed with rails and Jaxson is going to start sleeping in the crib. With how mobile he's been lately, I feel unsafe having him in our bed these days and I'd like to get back to sleeping. I'm not sure how this is going to work exactly with both boys in the same room because if one wakes up, then the other will too, so this is going to be a new thing for all of us. Thankfully I don't have to think about it for 3 more weeks. :)

We found out yesterday that Aaron's cousin, Sephora, passed away. She was 35. We are sad to know that she has passed and I feel especially bad for her 4 young children. We didn't really know her well since Aaron and I had only met her once last December at my father in law's funeral, but I'm glad that she's finally at peace. No one seems to really know anything about why she died or even when but, as horrible as this might sound, it doesn't really surprise me in the least. Sephora has had her struggles with substance abuse (especially drugs--not completely sure about alcohol) and she was recently in rehab. All we know is it happened on or before Tuesday. If I find anything more out, then I will post updates. I'm glad that her struggles are finally over and she can rest peacefully now...no more pain or emptiness. I have faith that God is protecting her now. Please pray for her family...especially for her younger brother and her children. I cannot imagine the grief they are feeling right now. Rest in peace, Sephora Lynn Andresen. May all your troubles be forgotten...

Tricks, Treats, and Frights!

We've had a busy weekend. Halloween was interesting to say the least. We were able to get Jayden to keep most of his costume on, which made me happy considering the fiasco with pictures a few weeks back. He didn't want to wear anything so I figured we'd have a repeat of that. In fact, he actually let us take some cute pictures of him in his costume which I will share soon (I just have to upload them from my camera...which usually takes ages with how busy I am). It was rainy so we didn't get to take him around outside to the neighborhoods, but we did go to Alderwood Mall where we met up with Aaron's brother, Tommy, and his wife Samantha. Their son, Brayden, dressed up as Elmo. Very cute!! Unfortunately, by the time we got there most of the candy was picked over and so most stores were out. It wasn't really a big deal as Jayden wasn't too excited about trick or treating anyway (although he did go up to a few people and say "Uh oh treat!") ...and we will probably end up eating most of his candy anyway. But he definitely knows what candy is since he kept saying it clear as day all the way to Denny's where we went for dinner. The kids got to eat for free and Jayden got a cool soccer cup which he was very excited about. :)

Then we decided to go back home as it was well after bedtime. I was very much ready to just relax the rest of the night, but it looks like that wasn't going to happen. Jayden has been fighting bedtime lately and he wanted me to rock him. I asked Aaron to watch the baby and get him to sleep too as he was tired and cranky and I went in to do my usual "rock and sing" routine to Jayden. Just a few minutes later I heard a sound like something fell off the table and hit the floor. Then I heard Jaxson crying. At first I didn't put the two together...I just figured something fell off the table and then Jaxson was mad because Aaron wasn't holding him. But I knew something was wrong when Aaron called out for me in a panicked voice. I quickly and gently put a half-asleep Jayden on the floor (which ended up scaring him and he woke up crying and screaming) to open the door to a crying Jaxson with a huge white and blue bump on his head. So, I naturally asked Aaron what happened and he told me that he tried to get Jax to sleep but he wouldn't go to bed so he got on the computer while holding Jax and he lunged out of Aaron's arms and smacked his head on the corner of the computer monitor.

At this point, I was so upset, angry, worried, panicked...you named it. I was shouting at Aaron because I'd had this conversation with him multiple times about how he gets distracted when he wants to do something for himself and doesn't pay adequate attention to the kids. Half the time I ask him to help with the kids, he gets frustrated because he has a different agenda (like he wants to play video games or get on the computer to look at video game stuff or football stuff) and he will just put Jaxson on the floor to cry so he can do what he wants instead of working on getting him to bed (which he usually leaves for me). Not saying that he doesn't help out, but he gets sidetracked because he's too impatient to put the kids as a priority at night when he wants to wind down and relax. And that leads to him not being as attentive and careful...which is why Jaxson hit his head.

Anyway, so I'm packing up the kids to go to the hospital, Aaron's on the phone calling 911 (which prompted some firemen to come to our house to check Jax out) and we are screaming at each other. The firemen said that Jax looked like he was responding well but with any head injury especially with a child so young, it would be best to take him to the ER just to make sure there's no internal damage to his head. So Aaron stayed home with Jayden and I took Jaxson to Stevens Hospital since it was the closest to home. The nurses and doctors checked him and said he looked okay as far as his responses but that he did take a pretty nasty fall and that his bump was relatively large...large enough for them to want to do a CT scan to make sure that there was no issues with his skull or bleeding on the brain. We had to wait a while for the scan, but Jaxson passed the scan just fine. He's going to have a big bump on his head for awhile and there will be quite a bit of bruising, but he will be okay.

So, not exactly how I wanted to spend my Halloween night, not to mention that ER visits and CT scans are expensive, but I guess that there's no price you can put on making sure your children are okay. And this has also been a lesson for Aaron (and myself as well) to be more patient and attentive. Aaron felt horrible about what happened and I know that I didn't make him feel any better about the situation so that is something I need to work on since I know it was an accident that could have just as easily happened in my care, but he also learned that the kids' needs should always come before his own (and his free time). He feels so horrible about the situation and has been giving Jaxson some extra lovin' which has been really cute to see. Jayden's been really attentive and careful too... he keeps saying, "Mama! Baby crying!" or "Mama! Baby owwie!".

So that was our weekend. Oh, and we might be moving at the end of this month. Aaron's friend, Pete, just moved back from CA and needs a place to stay so we've offered to let him stay with us, but we need a larger apartment. Aaron is looking into 3 bedroom apartments in the area and we might be signing a 6 month lease in a bigger, nicer place. I'll keep you posted.

Accountability & Tracking

Another quick update before I forget. I jumped on the scale this morning and noticed I was down another pound (or two... now I can't remember!) and am at 171.5 according to my scale. My goal is to get to 145 and stay in that general vicinity until I get pregnant again (which shouldn't be for another year). Tomorrow, Aaron and I are going shopping and I'm getting specific things for my new "menu". I'm going to restrict a lot from my diet in order to curb my cravings or at least find healthy substitutes. This will help me in my journey to a healthier and thinner Shannon. Each week I'm going to post a picture of my weight loss progress (I'm going to give a disclaimer right here and now that some of the images may scar you for life... I'm no supermodel. View at your own risk...pregnancy has contorted my body in ways I never imagined.) and write a little update.

Also, I've added a weight loss ticker to the bottom of my blog that I'm going to update weekly as well. I've currently only lost 5 pounds since I started this 2 weeks ago and I've got 27 to go. I'd like to lose the rest by spring so that I have at least a little while to enjoy my body before I get pregnant again. So here it goes... Wish me luck!! I'm going to need it. Seriously.

Since I'm at work, I can't post my "before" picture right now, but I can at least add my starting and current stats/measurements:

STARTING (mid-October)
Weight: 177 (pathetic, I know)
Waist: 35 inches
BMI: 24.7

CURRENT- 10/29
Weight: 172 (-5 pounds)
Waist: 34 inches (-1 inch)
BMI: 24.0

Six Years

Just a quick post while I have time and then it's back to work for me, but I just wanted to pop in and say that today is a special day: my six year anniversary with my husband. Okay, we haven't actually been married for six years (in fact we just celebrated our first year of marriage on Monday) but we have been a couple for six years today. My oh my how fast time flies. We've been through A LOT (and that's an understatement) in the last six years both as a couple and as individuals, but I wouldn't have it any other way because we've also learned A LOT about ourselves and each other over the years. I'm looking forward to the next six years, and the next after that, so on and so forth.

So, HAPPY (six year) ANNIVERSARY to Aaron and I. I love you honey!

Today is a wonderful day... :)

Checking In

So, it's been a bit longer than a week (actually almost two!) since I checked in, but it's been really crazy around here. We've all been getting over being sick the past couple weeks. Jayden came down with a fever on the 18th and I stayed home with him for a couple days. He had a bit of vomiting and diarrhea, but went back pretty much to normal with the exception of a cough and runny nose. Jaxson got the same runny nose and cough, but that was about it. Aaron was sick for a day or two and then I ended up coming down with it. Mine started out as a sore throat and just progressed from there. We are all doing a lot better, thankfully, but it's been a crazy 2 weeks.

Update on the diet/weight loss: I've lost 3-4 pounds since my last post but I think that's mostly due to being sick. I'm still trying but it's not going as well as I'd like. Working on the will power is hard!!

Also, I'm switching doctors for sure now! AND I'm writing an angry, but professional letter to Virginia Mason letting them know how incompetent members of their staff are. It's no secret that we've had problems especially this year with taking the kids to the doctor only to have them misdiagnosed ( like how they told us Jayden had chicken pox back in March when he was actually having an allergic reaction to Amoxicillin) or have them tell us we need to bring the kids in "right away" to be checked only for them to say that there's nothing they can do for them or that they won't give them medicine for a sickness they have. I love my PCP but she only works 2 days a week and so more often than not, we get stuck with one of her colleagues (and there's one in particular, I'll call her Dr. B, that we usually get stuck with) and they don't take care of us the way they should.

Case in point, I called at like 1am on Monday the 12th because Jayden had a 104 degree fever and I wasn't sure if I needed to take him in right away or not. Dr. B was the "on-call" doctor that evening and she not so kindly pointed out to me that it was 1am and that she was sleeping. Pardon my French, but who gives a shit??? No kidding that you were sleeping! I'd be doing the same thing myself except for the fact that my 2 year old is vomiting and burning up! Show some compassion...that's your job isn't it?

Then on top of it, I called the doctor to get antibiotics since our colds weren't going away and had progressed into sinus infections. They faxed in a prescription for me, but because of the ages of the kids I needed to bring them in to get checked. Based on the symptoms they were having, I was told (yet again!) to bring them in "right away" so I took time off of work and spent $25 in co-pays to go in only for Dr. B to tell me that both kids had sinus colds and to just give them Motrin, and then that they both had pink eye but she wouldn't give them any drops for their eyes (which is the only way to get rid of pink eye) because "they don't do that anymore and don't believe it helps". Oh, but I could bring both kids back in 7-10 days if they weren't feeling better (and pay another $25 co-pay per child) and she'd put them on a more "aggressive" treatment of steroids. Hmmm, but she couldn't just try mild antibiotics first? Last time I checked, MOTRIN doesn't cure sinus infections. And what's just as bad? She had a medical student in with her... great, teach the next generation how to be shitty doctors and give poor service to patients so you can rack up more money by wasting their time and money. Real good thing to teach a student.... :/

So, I took my kids back home and by Saturday morning they were way worse. Green goop coming out of their noses and eyes. All of them screaming and not sleeping well...so I took them in to a new walk-in clinic which was both a godsend AND a disaster. Jayden was a freaking devil screaming, running away from me, and totally bulldozing an innocent little girl (on purpose!) while I'm trying to calm a screaming and uncomfortable Jaxson at the same time as filling out paperwork...by myself, I might add, since Aaron decided to stay home by himself and play on the PS3. Anyway, 45 minutes later and I finally got in to see a doctor. When I told both the doctor and nurse what happened and what I was told about the boys on Friday, they looked at me in astonishment. "She (Dr. B) told you your kids had pink eye and she didn't prescribe any eye drops for them??!!?" Nope. So, we found out both kids had pink eye and sinus infections and poor Jayden also had a double ear infection on top of it...his 4th one this year. We are all doing much better now that we have antibiotics and eye drops. I'm so glad that SOMEONE cared enough about my kids to give them the medicine they needed.

In lighter news, we had pictures taken on the 17th for Jaxson's 6 months and for Halloween. We were going to do a family theme for Halloween this year but it didn't work out due to finances, so Jaxson is going to be a cow, and Jayden is a pirate. We plan on spending Halloween night with Tommy and Samantha and their cutie, Brayden. We are planning to do trick or treating at the mall and then hit up a neighborhood in our neck of the woods. It's been a while since we've gotten together with Aaron's brother so it should be fun. I might have mentioned this before, but they also found out that they are expecting baby #2 (due June 1st) so I'm excited to talk preggo talk with Samantha. I've got a bit of baby fever, so I've got to live vicariously through her until Aaron and I try again for baby #3 next fall. Anyway....pictures. They were a disaster since both boys were feeling crummy and Jayden did not want to cooperate. He was screaming, pouting, and the only way we could get him in a picture by himself was to hold this dang soccer ball... oh well! Without further ado, here they are!! Enjoy!

Falling off the bandwagon...

I've been MIA longer than I anticipated being, but work has just been absolutely crazy lately plus everyone in my house is currently sick except for me (knock on wood...). Jaxson turned 6 MONTHS old on the 5th and we took him for his 6 month checkup on the 6th. His stats are:

Weight: 16 lbs. 9 oz.
Length: 27 in.

He's catapulted in length but he's still small weight wise. I think they said he's around 30th percentile for weight and 75th percentile for length... Also, he's almost crawling. I guess you could sort of call it crawling, but it's still a bit of a stretch considering he's not actually moving forward on his hands and knees. He can get on his hands and knees, but when he actually starts to move he just slinks along on his belly. He does move though...he followed me halfway down the hallway the other day because he was afraid that I was leaving him all my himself! Also, we discovered at his 6 month appointment that he has his first tooth! FINALLY!!! And the top of the 2nd one is on its way to breaking through so he should have his front 2 bottom teeth soon. :) He's been really constipated lately and has had 3 major spells within the last month where he's gone almost a week without pooping. We couldn't figure out what it was. He's testing out soy formula to rule out lactose intolerance and we've been ordered to give him fruits and vegetables for fiber to keep him regular... I hope it works. We've tried everything else and they can't find anything "wrong" with him.

Jayden is doing well. He's had a rough week with being sick though. He had a 103 degree fever on Sunday night and then had a huge vomiting spell on Tuesday, but now other than a runny nose, fussy demeanor, and cough he's doing well. He's so smart and he's learning something new all the time. Especially his colors...he knows almost all of them! I can't believe his 2nd birthday is just around the corner...

We are going to get family pictures this weekend. Jaxson needs his 6 month pictures and since Halloween is just around the corner, we are doing those as well. I'll keep you posted and be sure to share as soon as we get them. :) We are also planning on going to Remlinger Farms to pick pumpkins and share in their Fall Festival. We took Jayden last year, but he was only 10 months old so I think he'll enjoy it a lot more this time. This will be Jaxson's first time and I'm sure he'll be taking it all in. He's such a curious and happy baby.

So, the title of this sums up how I've been feeling lately... Not with just failing to blog lately, but also with this "quest" of mine to create healthy habits and get my weight back on track. I was doing really good and then I just stopped. So, I guess it's time for me to pick myself back up and get back to it. I'm still making foods from my Deceptively Delicious book, but not as often as I'd like. I did make some good (and healthy!) tacos the other day though. :) I've put my weight back on so I need to lose like 30-35 pounds now. :( I'm going to try to start making time for myself twice a week to work out and have Aaron watch the kids. I'd like to try hot yoga with my friend Stephanie (she said that you can burn up to 1200 calories in one 90 minute session!!) and my new naturopathic doctor, Sunita, said it would be a great idea. I'm also going to try another book to help me curb my addictions to fatty foods and sugar called "The Flat Belly Diet". Although it's designed more to help you lose inches, you can also lose pounds as well. I just hate feeling so FAT and UNHEALTHY! I know my husband loves me just as I am, and I'm grateful for that, but I wish I could say that I love myself in the same way...and I don't. I know in comparison to others I'm in a lot better shape and I understand it can always be worse, but I'm not in my happy place and I'm not where I need to be. I make sure my kids eat healthy...why not myself? My will power has always been my biggest enemy. Once I get used to a new lifestyle and a new pattern it's not a big deal, but it's always the beginning that's so hard because I've got that little devil on my shoulder that says "It's okay...go ahead and have that cookie. Eat that pizza!" and then afterwards I feel so much regret and remorse and horrible self-esteem. I don't want to wear my "fat pants" anymore, I don't want to feel like I can rationalize my weight yo-yoing due to having a baby recently (and it's not even that recent...he's 6 months old!), and I want to feel great about myself inside and out. So my action items from this rant are:

1. Buy the "Flat Belly Diet" book and stick to their suggestions along with making more meals from my DD book.
2. Make time for myself 2x weekly to exercise whether it's hot yoga with Stephanie, swimming at my apartment, etc...
3. Start taking all the supplements and follow the guidelines suggested to me by Dr. Sunita
4. CURB MY CRAVINGS and boost my will power! This also means not just avoiding the fatty/sugary foods, but eating smaller portions as well.
5. Regular and honest updates on my blog (weekly with any luck) to help with my accountability. If I feel like I have to "report" on something, I feel a larger obligation to deliver results. No one likes to feel like they are the caboose at the back of the train (or be the size of one...) right?

I really need to stick to my guns. Having kids has made me horribly lax in taking care of myself and I don't want to be one of those fat, frumpy moms. I want to know that I can take care of myself at the same time as my kids. I'm still young and deep down I know I'm pretty, but I can't make myself believe that when I feel and think that I look like the Michelin Man right now. I just want my outside appearance to match my inner self and that continues to be one of my biggest struggles. If I feel better about myself, I'll feel much better about everything around me.

Wish me luck. It's time to dust off my jeans and get back on the bandwagon...